Today it was the fifth time for ECT, meaning next on Wednesday will be the last one. And I do feel better, people tell me I even look better. The bad part is that I still haven't gained more than 1 kg since I came to stay at the hospital. And if by the end of this month there is no weight gained, I will be sent to Tartu, where they have specialized facility for eating disorder treatment. Fuck.

One really sweet girl, Hannele, drew my portrait in art therapy. :) She is fourth person to draw me no reason. I wish I was talented enough to make something for her as well.

Oh, about this - I have been drawing, painting etc quite a bit and I will surely make a post about my art as well. People surprisingly seem to like it.

Apparently I went to see Captain Marvel with Silja and her friend. But... I don't remember it at all. Just... nada. I have no idea what this movie was about, I only remember there was a cat as character, and I don't even remember if it was explained why it had the role or...

We also apparently had pizza. I wish I would remember, because Kaja Pizza is really good...

But well, I was really happy today when I told the ECT doctor that "Well, yay, I get to see the movie again then!" The memory and amnesia topic is quite fascinating.

Today I elt how the numbness flew from my arm to rest o my body and I passed out. We got the treatment done quite fast, but still only had an hour between breakfast and lunch, meaning I felt really full and very guilty.

Also they left cannula into my hand, and it is annoying and bit painful. At least it will be my last treatment on Wednesday!! I don't hate it but it is rather uncomfortable.

My doctor mentioned that this is really popular treatment in USA, amongst famous people, but it is super expensive. So I am quite lucky to get it done for free. And I know it helps, I have seen it help and it has already showed a lot of positive things for me. I believe things wil get even better and I am glad that there are no side efects besides temporary memory loss.

About what has changed in me is also that my sense of humor is somewhat back and I have energy to talk to people again. It is a huge change, because I used to escape whenever there was anyone in the room that showed signs of wanting to communicate with me.

Again - if you have any questions, I'll gladly answer!