Aah, this month I have tried so little vegan things. I have been stuck into buying same stuff all over again.... I guess maybe I should just write about new products I have tried? :D I don't know if it would be interesting. I really like reading/watching videos about new vegan stuff, so I don't know. :D Or maybe I should review snacks and sweets again? :D If you have any ideas, let me know. Until then I will keep up with reviewing vegan stuff.

I finally got my hands on new vegan magazine in Estonia, where they talk about eating disorders and veganism. Three people shared their stories and it was really interesting read. In general this article was very well written and higlighted that being a vegan is not only diet, it is ethical point of view, with what I agree.

I really liked the part where it said that in research done with veganism and eating disorders, they found that vegans and non-vegans are not different and if they do, then vegans are a bit healthier. In evaluating pathological actions vegans got lower scores, meaning that there are no more eating disorder sufferers who are vegands. (I am too lazy to write down the sources of the fact, but you can probably Google it as well).

I am mostly vegetarian, I think the correct term is pescetarian, because I do eat seafood. But yeah, I remember clearly when I was in Tartu at the hospital and every single person, doctor, nurse, psychologist etc wanted me to have meat. They tried to make a compromise and tell me to at least eat chicken, but I remember that I always ended up crying and said that I will discharge myself if they made me eat meat. In the end they let me have a vegetarian diet. But they still kept mentioning it every time they saw me. They said that I can't eat enough calories if I don't eat meat. But I could. I have always eaten, and still do, very volumous food. The food used to be very low calorie. I used oil free sauces, low calorie mayo, made porridge with water and so on. Now I have changed it up, I have added more fat to my meals, for example I add nuts and seeds to my porridge which I make with proper milk now. I also fry things in oil, adding butter to my bread is no problem and I often have avocados. I am still a fan of yoghurts and cottage cheese.

A choice about not eating meat, I did long before I got sick. And I haven't had any since. And as everything shows - I am gaining weight, my health is in check, so you can life meat-free very well. I think it is wrong to make people eat meat if they don't want to. It is a choice everyone should be able to make themselves. Also with this forcing thing, meal time can become realle stressful, especially in people with eating disorders. You will be scared of food etc. I think if I started eating meat at the hospital, I would have become to hate food a lot more and I would have become a lot more scared than I was. I wouldn't be able to think about food in a positive light and it would have made me really anxious as well.

Yes, there are people who use veganism as a cover up, a way not to eat something, eat less, restrict, give up food during events etc. I am not saying there aren't! But at the same time if you are keto or paleo or something, it is possible that you also restrict. Or if you are gluten free, dairy free etc, especially if you don't really have a medical condition. So saying veganism = eating disorder... this is wrong. There are a lot of people who have found food freadom and healed thanks to veganism. :)

Yes, in general your portions are bigger, you need to take some vitamins and follow nutrition recommendations, but I don't think it is right to say that veganism causes eating disorders. Veganism is more than just a diet. Some people find it difficult to understand.

Of course you should think about something called orthorexia, which brings super healthy eating and I feel like a lot of vegans are going down this road. But there are more orthorexics, for example people who always have plain chicken, rice and broccoli or something. Or an omelette made with egg whites only (I have tried it, it is disgusting). So yeah, you can't place = between these things.

I got really upset while watching this post, I didn't even know I have so much passion in me, haha :D. But yeah, I really relate to this topic.

Last time I saw my psychiatrist and psychologist, then the doctor started asking me if I am ALREADY eating meat and why not. Even though he sees my weight is going up, I look better and feel better.

At the same time meeting my psychologist it was really nice - I saw her for the first time and she admitted that she also doesn't eat meat. I felt so relieved and it was super nice - finalyl a person who will help me to deal with the problems, instead of convincing me to eat meat half of the time.

I am not saying I won't eat meat for the rest of my life. It could easily happen. Tomorrow. In ten or twenty years. I don't want to say that. But currently I don't see my way changing - I just don't feel like eating meat. When I walk past meat products in the stores and see chicken salad for ecample, it could easily say "salad with plastic pieces and mayo", because chicken just feels so wrong, like something that doesn't go into food.

I have also started making a lot more food myself thanks to giving up meat. I have made so many patties, stews, salads, soups and more. I really love it. It is relaxing and nice and interesting and it is especially awesome if I get to prepare food for someone else. And I don't feel like eating out is a problem any longer. Or ordering in. It is balance, it is normality, it is something I have been wanting to achieve for so long and now I am finally there.

I get really excited when I see a new vegan product in the market, I am ready to travel through Tallinn for it. I love trying new things, testing, making stuff that I haven't before. It is so interesting. At the same time with my healing, I have finally been able to shift my focus from food. Okay, maybe I still think about eating more than a regular person, but I am finally able to focus on other things and I am not deaming of eating all the time.

And with vegetarian or vegan foods I have totally felt this freeing emotion. If there is a vegan place and I order food, I don't get these weird guilt feelings, I just enjoy it, eat it and be done with it. And I know it is neccessary for me and I really do love it. I don't get weirly bloated or anxious.

It is easy living as a vegan or vegetarian. You sometimes just need to be prepared, for example offer making somethińg for an event etc. It always works for me and my relatives and friends are mor happy to try out my stuff. So - vegan food is really good! :)

In the article they also told about how to recognize a person with an eating disorder. And what to do. I think I have written about it earlier, but I thought of adding some things that they didn't mention:

- the person will always ask what you have eaten, what time you ate, how much you ate; they don't want to eat if you are not eating, they take seconds only if you are, they skip dessert if someone else skips it as well

- they prefer eating at a certain time in a certain place, doing certain things; for example watching tv, being in the computer, on the phone etc; and they generally don't want people to talk while they are eating - the focus has to be on food

- they never eat something just passing by, like when coming home from the store: they don't open up a chocolate or eat an ice cream, they wait until they are at home, in their safe space

- they always move after eating, going for a walk or a workout, just move around at home

There are many more things, but yes. In the article they also said that these symptoms do not occurr always and I repeat - it doesn't make you less sick if you don't have these habits. This is just what I have felt like and what others with eating disorders have told me.

Anyway, now about all the vegan products I tried in April:

Granarolo metspähklijook (Granarolo hazelnut milk)

In theory I liked it more than I did actually, but it was fine. Coffee is too... sour and it makes the milk curd a little, but not too much. Having it plain was nice, so I think it would also be good with muesli or cereal. Not my favourite, but still okay. 6/10.

Laky kartulikotlet hapukapsaga (Laky potato patty with sauerkraut)

These have always been my favourites, but they are just in one store only. Once I got them from another place to try and it was love at first taste. These are the best potato cutlets and they are so well seasoned. If I had to pick a favourite, it would definitely be this. 9/10.

Marta Pagari bataadi-suvikõrvitsa kotletid (Marta Pagar sweet potato-zucchini cutlets)

These were also really good. Hadn't tried them before. I really wanted sweet potatoes, but I was also in the mood for zucchini so this was a perfect combo. Well seasoned and nice. It was really good with ketchup and mayo, even thought they didn't even really need a sauce. Juicy and soft, I loved them. 8,5/10.

Marianne kommid (Marianne candies)

These were in the Rohebox (vegan subscription box) and I got really addicted. Honestly, one of the best candies I have had. I in general like mint and chocolate together, but not when it is very strong. For example I am not a fan of After Eight at all. But these were really goof! Honestly, on one day I had the whole bag, because I couldn't stop myself. But other than that I have had a handful several times a day. 8/10, I am not a candy person in general, but these are just so good. :D I am surprised myself.

VegePlus Emmentali juust (VegePlus Emmental cheese)

Firstly I tried this on pasta and it was sooooo good. My sister also tasted it and said it tastes like regular cheese. Then she added that there is some other flavour as well, but she couldn't say what it was and she liked it. So this was a success. :D VegePlus doesn't melt AS good, but the taste makes up for it. Maybe I would have had to keep it in the oven a bit longer, but I don't know, it just isn't as "cheesy" in look. :D It is really soft and silky, even though it is in one piece. Anyway, one of my new favourite vegan cheeses. Chilli one is even better, but this is super nice as well! 9/10.

Soja hakk-kotlet (Soya cutlet)

I broke these up and added them to cabbage stew instead of mince and it was perfect. It really made my sister and dad confused. It is very versatily product, so I think we could make something nice out of it. I will definitely be trying more soya products in the future, I always rediscover how nice they are! 10/10-

Alpro šokolaadimaitseline sojajook (Alpso soya chocolate milk)

I have had it before, but I know I haven't reviewed it. Anyway, I got it because I wanted to make coffee with it, which I did. And it was so so good! I was studying and having chocolate coffee with my work was perfect. Also I was like, yeah I can make two coffies, but I just drank the rest as it was. :D I used to buy this for my best friend's kid when he was smaller and he really liked it. 9/10. It ended up with me buying the big carton of it, because it is just so so good. I don't even care how many calories it has.

Alpro šokolaadimaitseline kookosjook (Alpro coconut chocolate milk)

I am a fan of cocnut things, so it is no surprise I got this. At a certain point I was really obsessed with making cocoa out of it! But I think the soya one is even better. Which is surprising, as I don't like just plain soya milk. :D But yeah, added this to my coffee and always took some sips on the side as well. :D 8/10.