I Won't Quote

First month after the hospital was difficult. There were a lot of ups and downs and guilt. But a lot of motivation, want to do something and meet people. I will try to make a list of negative things and end with positive ones.

Negatives

- I lost some weight at first.
- I kept comparing meals to other's, like my sister's.
- I got stuck in my own rhythm again; meaning food times are always set and if I can't keep at those, I am upset.
- I still felt like I didn't care about anything.
- My mood was based on my weight again, meaning if it remained the same or went down, I felt happier, even though the goal is to gain weight.
- Guilt when I had too much food at Christmas parties.
- A lot of worrying about things to come and need to restrict my food intake before events.

Positives

- I am motivated to meet people, talk and do something.
- I (re)discovered knitting.
- I have gained some weight, even though slowly.
- I have tried a lot of new and interesting snacks.
- I feel more energetic and instead of just laying down, I want to get up and do things.
- I have a lot of energy to move around, run, work out.
- I can cook my own food and try out new recipes.

Seems there is equal amount of things... :D I guess I remember some more as soon as I publish this, but well, it is what it is. I guess it is kind of like Murphy's law. Anyway, I am looking forward to 2020 to see how I will do. My short-term goal is to go and run 7 km in May in some competition! Anyone else?



Also I thought I'd give away a pair of green and grey (Slytherin) socks. So if you would like this, just recommend me something. It may be a challenge, snack, tea, book, podcast or anything you can come up with.

We went to a really cute cafe!

I have Christmas stress. And not because I don't have gifts for people or because I have to organize something. I am stressed about eating.

This year Christmas are mid-week too - one day of work, then three days off and then one workday again, and then weekend. It is the weird time, nothing to do really, except sit and eat.

Of course it is nice to see friends and family... but it is always connected with eating and this is difficult. First big challenge after hospital, I think. And I don't know what to do. Should I skip lunch in order to eat more in the evening? Or eat lunch and hold myself back during dinner and have people ask why I don't eat 3 plates full of food? I don't know... it is just difficult.

We have agreed that I am making vegan blood sausages meaning nori sausages (it is Estonian thing). Maybe I can take some pictures and post them on the blog and explain more. also I am making cranberry-marzipan kringel and maybe also cheese strizel thingy. If someone wants it (my dad definitely does, he is the biggest fan and has asked me to make it and send it to him via post. :D).

Anyway. Christmas stress. Or food stress. To conclude, I will... try to take eating reasonably. There will be some overeating on my side, but others will do it too. And it is just for a few days. And I need to gain weight anyway. So... what comes, comes.  I just know that I will have extreme guilt feelings later and I just wish there wasn't any.

I should contact the hospital and say that I am doing really well and I don't need to go back in January. Especially after all this eating during Christmas and New Year. :D

Anywayyy, I will try to have some more posts go up before the year ends.

Have a peaceful Christmas!



We drove around a little yesterday. This view was amazing!

Found a book that is perfect for me. Once I read it, I will probably write a longer post about it. At the moment I have only read one page and I am already hooked. It is exactly the kind of self-help book I'd love to get for Christmas.

Sunday, 15.12.2019

Breakfast 9:00 - two slices of handmade seedy bread with butter, cheese and cucumber, coffee with milk. (I thought that I will make some porridge, but I really wanted some bread. It has not been too difficult, even though I have had much food recently. But breakfasts have always been easy for me.)

Snack 11:00 - oatmeal cookies, cup of coffee with milk. (Like, a lot of oatmeal cookies. :D I still like those and it is a good change from normal chocolate, which I have had so much recently. I gave it to my sister to try and she also liked the cookies.)

Lunch 13:30 - omelette with bell pepper and cheese, cucumber-cottage cheese salad, cup of coffee with milk. (The most difficult one of the meals, probably because I used to skip lunch. At the same time it tasted good, so I am not complaining. It is also a win that I used oil enough and could flip the omelette around, not have it disintegrate into egg scramble, which usually happens when I don't use oil.)

Snack 15:30 - three mandarins. (The really big ones, clementines? I wanted something fresh. I also had some Coca Cola, which made it Christmassy. I don't know, I just connect Coca Cola ads with Christmas.)

Dinner 19:00 - buckwheat stew with sun-dried tomatoes, carrot and bell pepper. (It came out really nice. I have mentioned that I am not a huge fan of buckwheat, but raw buckwheat grouts are different and taste better. Actually, buckwheat is okay, at least when I don't have it for breakfast.)

Snack 20:00 - strawberry ice cream in a waffle. (I think I'm obsessed with ice creams. But I am slowly starting to get over. For tomorrow I bought myself some curd cream instead.)

Monday, 16.12.2019

Breakfast 7:00 - multigrain porridge with apple jam, pumpkin pie spice, blackberries and nuts and seeds with raisins. (I have been craving for porridge again, so I made this. Later I did think that maybe I would have wanted some bread after all, but it doesn't matter. I can have it another time.)

Snack 11:00 - Corny bar with muesli and nuts. (This was good, I like that it is not too sweet. Nice and peanutbuttery.)

Lunch 13:00 - the same as yesterday's dinner. (This was as good as yesterday. It was convenient to grab it and get to work in the morning.)

Snack 15:00 - kohuke (Estonian curd cream dessert) with lemon and cloudberry. (I have been wanting to try this for ages. I really liked the glaze around it. I am feeling some guilt but trying to get over it.)

Dinner 18:45 - sweet potato "boat", cottage cheese-tomato salad, cabbage (like... fried and soft cabbage; god, there is no word for it in Estonian. It is like... sauerkraut but still different, it is sweet and not crunchy??). (I love sweet potatoes, We have made this dinner for like 4 times this week. :D Also the cabbage is Christmas food, so I'm feeling Christmassy again.)

Snack 20:00 - Ice cream with peanut and chocolate filling. (I'm telling you, all I am having is ice cream. This has become a safe food, I should have something different.)

Tuesday, 17.12.2019

Breakfast 8:00 - porridge with apple jam, cocoa, blackberries and fruit and nut mix, cup of coffee with milk. (I cannot believe this, but I feel as if I am starting to get over porridge... So strange. But the food was good, still.)

Snack 11:00 - Mars chocolate bar. (I haven't had it for at least 10 years, I didn't even remember the taste. I feel like it was too much or something... I feel like I should have had something with less calories. In addition, it was way too sweet. But again - if you don't try, you won't know if you like it or not.)

Lunch - handmade seedy bread with butter, cheese and pickles. (I don't know what, but I really love this lunch. It was super good.)

Snack 15:00 - mandarins. (Again I wanted something fresh, but I have had like 5 by now, which is too much. So much for buying them for a few days, just eating them all now. But they are tiny!)

Dinner 19:00 - oven baked homemade potato wedges, Christmas cabbage thing, cottage cheese-tomato salad. (When I bake potato wedges, I have A LOT. I think me and my sister had like a kilo of them alltogether. But we love it.)

Snack 20:00 - curd cream with apricot and orange. (Finally tried this; I have tried 2 others from the same brand. If you like orange, then you'll love it.)

Wednesday, 18.12.2019

Breakfast 7:00 - multigrain porridge with apple jam, pumpkin pie spice and blackberries, cup of coffee with milk. (I wanted something simpler and didn't add fruit and nut mix.)

Snack 11:00 - Nature Valley oat bar. (I had been looking at this in the store even before I was admitted to the hospital. This time I tried it with dark chocolate pieces and it was really good.)

Lunch 13:00 - handmade seedy bread with butter, cheese and pickles. (Sorry, I still like this mix of things and I was too lazy to make something else. :D Also - bread has been fear food for so long, so I am really excited to have it now.)

Snack 15:00 - another pile of mandarins. (I don't think I even have to comment here. Also, today at work someone offered handmade marzipan cookies and they were huge. My first reaction was to say no, but I had one. It wasn't "planned" so it was difficult mentally, but it tasted really good and I am glad I went for it.)

Dinner 19:00 - sweet potato sauce with chickpeas. (I used recipe from here spicethespirit.com and it came out really well. Coconut milk and nutritional yeast are life changing ingredients, I totally recommend! The food was super nice. I didn't add rice, because I made a lot of the stew and it was meant for 4, yet we had all. This was really good anyway and it will be one of my go-to sweet potato recipes now.)

Snack 20:00 - curd cream with apricot and orange. (I felt guilty, because I had a snack and my sister didn't. Guilt is constant, but it is not as strong as it used to be, this is just something I have noticed.)

Thursday, 19.12.2019

Breakfast 7:00 - multigrain oatmeal with apple jam and fruti and nut mix, some pumpkin pie spice. A cup of coffee with milk. (I am having the same rhyhm all the time. Actually am looking forward to having a banana with my oatmeal, but I just had to use up the jam. My weight has gone up, this is some additional stress, but I still had fruit and nut mix, which was a win.)

Snack 11:00 - Nature Valley oat bar. (This time I had maple syrup one. Yesterday's was better, but this was still good. Guilt... less than in the morning after I weighed myself, but they are still here.)

Lunch 13:00 - handmade seedy bread with butter, boiled egg and pickles. (I just thought to change it from cheese to an egg. But still mainly the same thing. What can I do - the  bread is so awesome. :D)

Snack 15:00 - apple. (Which is weird for me, is that I think I eat less at home than I did at the hospital - yet I am gaining weight. It is strange, but no, I am not complaining. Everything that keeps me away from the hospital, is a plus for me. Additionally I had some caramel waffle thing and a trufle at work. Again - out of the ordinary and made me feel guilty.)

Dinner 20:00 - carrot and cottage cheese burgers, Christmassy cabbage thing, tomato salad. (I also added some mayo, because I just felt like it. :D I was doubtful at the recipe at first, as I made it up, but they came out pretty nice. And tasted good. Would you be interested in the recipe? I am thinking about my sister being away tomorrow for dinner and I need to eat alone. Again - STRESSFUL. :'D But there isn't really a thing that doesn't make me feel stressful right now.)

Snack 20:30 - ice cream with raspberries and white chocolate glaze. (I hoped it was better, but it was a bit disappointing. At the same time, again, if I hadn't tried, I wouldn't know.)



My new discovery and new favourite snack.

I am not really the kind of person who makes New Year's resolutions and would stick to them. I still get the thoughts like, oh, it is New Year, I should get a grip on my life, but usually that's about it. This year I decided to write down some goals instead of resolutions. I think sticking with them would be easier, than saying "from the first of January I will work out 4 times a week". It is better to say that from New Year I will try to be more active.

Anyway, I looked around in the internets to see, who and what promises people make. I will try to write down some of my personal goals.

1. Start working out again.

Running is the love of my life and I cannot wait to do it again and enjoy it. I guess it will take more time than until January, but at least now I have written it down here. I hope that once the weather is appropriate, I can start running again. One thing to look forward to. And this is not a difficult goal to stick to.

2. Stop procrastinating.

Actually there is a word for it in Estonian which cannot be translated, meaning something like "I'm not in the mood for/I am too lazy/I don't want to etc, and I want to use this phrase less.Instead of saying this I want to analyse why I don't want to do something. Why am I too lazy? Is this thing not important to me? Am I too tired to do it? I want a day where I don't say this phrase at all. I want to motivate myself more.

3. Get to know new people.

I am quite an introvert, so this is pretty difficult for me. But at the same time it is something I would like to do - get to know more people. At the moment I am thinking that if I do happen to be press at Tallinn Music Week, then this time I will make more use of it and talk to other journalists more. It doesn't matter that I would have to walk up to them and strike a conversation - we are there for the same goal and it would be a good basis to get to know someone.

4. Write more blogposts.

I do it quite often anyway. But recently these posts are sort of boring. I want to get a grip and make more challenges - I have several things in my list already, but I still haven't gotten around to it. Also it would be really cool if someone helped me to think of a new challenge - sometimes others have better ideas than I do.

5. Save more.

Both mondey and nature. Like, I keep thinking that I should cook more at home and take the food to work for my lunch. Every time in the store I get depressed over the plastic wrappings. Also cooking at home helps to save some money. I think once I have gotten used to doing this, I will write a post about my go to meals for dinner and next day's lunch.

6. Read more.

I do quite a lot of it now that I am home from the hospital (believe it or not, there haven't been a day that I have skipped!), but I want to do it even more. Actually it would be good to read some self help books or similat stuff. For example my friend just recommended me a book called "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking". This seems perfect for me.

7. Be more spontaneous.

I guess this also covers spending time with people. I want to enjoy the moments that life brings to me; I don't want everything to be about food and eating and fears. I want to live and take everything in. I guess the first time I get to try it properly, will be during our Japan trip. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for it to go well. I feel like I am ready for it.

8. Find a flat.

This is a huge goal, but I talked to my mum about it. I mean, I have always had a goal to look forward to and now I don't. So she said that maybe I could search for some flats... like what there is in the market. I guess this is a good goal to be honest. And also, the best thing about a flat would be... that my cat would have more room... :D

9. Learn something new.

I have had so many different hobbies and interests from bouldering to self-learning Norwegian. I guess the goal could also be to do these things again. Or why not, learn something new. Recently I have rediscovered knitting for example, and I really love it. Maybe as a challenge, I could knit something more complicated?

10. Apply law of attraction.

This is the weirdest, yet interesting goal. And it basically means that whatever you give out, is what you receive back. So when you are grateful and positive and show it, you get positivity back as well. I don't know if I truly believe this law of attraction thing, but there is no harm in trying it out.

I think this is enough. Maybe I will change my mind last moment and make some New Year's resolutions after all, but for now, this is sufficient.

I didn't mark weight gain as a goal here, because this is something I have to do anyway and it is not a goal, it is natural part of my life. Anyway, I hope that next year I can look back here and be like, heck yess, I did it.

Me and some of my friends went to a Japanese restaurant I have been wanting to visit for forever. I had tantan vegan ramen and it was amazing. Highly recommend!

Overeating or binge I don't really have that often. But at the same time I can't say there haven't been some moments like this. It is Christmas time and there are a lot of Christmas parties, some have already been and some are to come. So I thought that this is a relevant thing to talk about, especially because I am feeling stressed over family Christmas party.

Firstly I am scared of my relatives' comments, such as "you look better" etc. Because in my head, I automatically translate it into "you have become fat". I don't know why it is like this, but it is. I understand that people mean well. But I cannot take it like this.

Secondly the eating part. I am scared o f overeating. For example I just attended a Christmas party, where I legit had a binge. I kept eating and couldn't stop. At first it was like "ah, it doesn't matter", but it grew into I need to eat as much as possible. And then later I regretted it. For several days in a row. I don't know why I can't take it as it is and think that yeah, I had more food than normally, but when I get back into my rhytm, it doesn't even matter.

I told about this to my doctor and nurses at the hospital when they asked about binging. This is not a rare thing and they even doubted it was a real binge, as I was probably unable to eat as much as I thought. But well.

Every time before going out to eat, I think that I will eat the normal amount. I'll eat as much as I need to get full and feel comfortable. I don't know why this changes when the situation arises. I feel like ah fuck it, even though I know how disgusting and hard it is later and it takes time to get better. At the same time this time I was good and ate normally the next day after the party.

It is Christmas soon. Actually this is nice time, I love Christmas decorations and fairy lights and so on. And it is nice to spend time with my family and friends as well. I will try to enjoy my Christmas this year and not overeat. I will try to enjoy my freedom and I will try not  to think about food all the time. I want to take it easy. Luckily I have some time to prepare myself mentally.

All kinds of birthdays, midsummer celebrations and meetings are so difficult because I can't handle myself. Maybe one day I van; when my life doesn't revolve around food as much as it does now. I don't know... I will just try to be more ready regarding the Christmas parties and think that I will eat as much as I want, but I will stop when I am still comfortable. I know that there will be more eating than I am used to, but I hope I don't trigger the guilt as much as I usually do. Moderation is the key. I hope I can handle it...

I will try to mark down my menu from today again. I have started several times and then stopped, because there has been some event or I have eaten out. Maybe now I will do better, because I don't really have any plans for the week. Or if there will be plans, I will just incorporate them to my menu as well.

About new year... I just don't know. In theory I have to go back to the hospital on the second of January, but I have been doing well at home and I feel like I will manage. I don't know what to do - call and say I won't come? Maybe they just want me to go there for an appointment then? I don't know. Just... going to the hospital for a month again is not something I am ready for. I can do it on my own!

I talked to my psychologist during my last appointment and we came up with 4 things I want to get better at. These were loneliness, free time, comparing to others and routine. These are all difficult things for me, but I tried to make a list of them and get on with the easiest - free time.

So this means that during my free time I will do things which I like. For example setting up a bullet journal, handcraft, reading, maybe writinf. If I have managed to make use of my free time, I will try to move on to the next thing. For example comparing myself to others. I do it a lot at home with my sister (for example when she eats less than I do etc). And with other people - for example the same Christmas party. Some people left some cake and I automatifally felt bad for finishing mine. It was too big of a piece but I still forced it down, even though I was already uncomfortably full.

Routine would be on the third place, because it is really hard to deal with. I constantly feel that I want things to be as I plan in my head. That the dinner would always be at seven, snack would always be at eight and lunch at one and so on. And when something is different, I start panicking. To fight this, it would be better to go eat outside (but moneyyyy) or instead of having a set time, I should have a time window (for example the dinner would be between six and eight, not at seven on the dot). I need to make some plans to get over this.

And lastly, loneliness. Recently I have been feeling really low and lost and stuck. I don't really have anything to do, I don't have a goal which I have usually always had.  And I feel like everyone else have something to live for or something to do. And then there is me who feels just trapped. At  the hospital it was different, I didn't think of that as much. At the same time there I did have a goal - to get home. At the moment I don't have anything. Though I have started to look at some flats... it is both exciting but depressing, considering the flat prices...

This post came quite far from eating part, but there is that. These thoughts are in my head today. In the morning I have my personal weigh in and I don't know what I am scared of - not gaining any weight or gaining too much? Anyway I am scared. We have a deal with my family that every Monday and Thursday I am letting them know my weight so they could keep me accointable. I do feel as if I have gained a lot thanks to that Christmas party... even though it is probably impossible. We shall see.



Before the first Christmas party of the year.

Went to Tartu to see the nurse from eating disorder facility and my psychologist. Morning's weigh in was good, 43,1 kgs, meaning I have gained some weight back and I am almost where I was when I was discharged. Now I have to keep this up. (At the hospital it was 44,2, but I had eaten before. :D)

Anyway, they were pleased with me. And I have mure hope that maybe I don't have to go back in January, if I keep doing this. I think at one point I will contact my doctor and talk about it. I know that they cannot force me to go, but some part of me tells me it is necessary... at the same time I feel like I can handle it at home and I don't need to go. Need to keep my fingers and toes crossed.

I have to mark down what I eat. I at first started writing it down, but gave up at one point. And then I didn't remember what I had anymore. I think I will do it in my blog like at the hospital. It keeps me accountable more. I know my portions aren't maybe as big as at the hospital and my snacks are smaller as well... I am trying to change it. Hopefully it will be successful - as you can see, from Thursday to Monday I gained weight. :D

I still wish that I just woke up in a normal body and that I could go to the gym or something. I have been feeling so lost and awful recently. One of the things that would help would be working out. I have been thinking of starting working out, but most people say it is not a good idea at the moment and I need to really get well first. But at the same time I have more energy already so why don't I...? I would just eat more and that's that. I would work out because I like it, not that I could eat. I know how things are supposed to be now.

After my appointment I met up with my relative and we went to a cafe. I talked to my psychologist that I need to break my routine around eating and eating times. One of the goals was to eat out more, to give the control away. So I started right away and picked vegetable and sundried tomato quiche with fresh salad and sauce. It was a bit scary, as always, but I got over it. It was good! And it was really nice to just chat and remember old times and tell each other what has happened recently. :D I really like this eating out thing. Today I am going to Japanese cafe with some friends and chill with them.



So in general I did well, my weight is okay and things are looking up. I hope this will continue like this and soon I can do what I want to. I feel hopeful (please, hope, don't leave me again).

Monday

Weigt had gone down 200 grams, so now I am 43,1 kgs. This is not a huge problem, as last time my weight had gone up surprisingly much. Aslo I have been home since Friday afternoon and moved a bit more. I will try to change it by Thursday. I have a doctor's appointment on the ninth, and by then I want to be good.

This number, 43, is so weird. It feels so... much. And I guess it is, considering where I started. The most difficult part is to have the first number change. When 36 became 37, when 37 became 38 and so on. I just need to get used to it. And can't let it go down again, because then it is difficult to accept again.

It is good to be at home. But more difficult than I thought it would be. I have been at home only for a weekend, but I already have thoughts such as "but she doesn't have anything for a snack, but she doesn't do this or that, why do I have to?". Difficult. At the same time I am still feeling morivated and want to do well. As I mentioned previously, the doctor wants me to go back in January, even though I don't want to go. I will stand by mysself and if I do well, then maybe I don't have to. I have to hope. So many people believe in me.



It is so good to be at home and see my cat as well :D.

I got another tea advent calendar and things are... surprisingly good. For a few times I have been thinking that "I guess this is good mood", which is weird for me.

Eating is, as mentioned, difficult. But at the same time so cool. I tried spicy vegan wrap finally... and it was awesome. Before going to the hospital, I looked at it in the store, saw how many calories it has, and put it back. Today I ate it and it hasn't affected my mood much. My stomach aches a bit, but what else is new.



There is still a small challenge of liquid calories, so I have been having smoothies and yoghurt drinks.

Today I am finally going to this one bakery, to get this amazing seeded bread. I promise that there will be a post about "how to gain weight at home" with foods and other topics. Maybe I should write down my menu at home as I did in the hospital?

Tuesday



When I went to the bakery, I also saw the Christmas market.

And as I thought, the bakery had ran out of the bread I wanted. Damn. I thought I'd give up and get it from the store, because I am too lazy to go back and discover again that they don't have it. :D The price difference is minimal, I guess it would just be more fresh. But oh well.

I made a lot of curry last night, to have it today as well. I really wanted to only have veggies, but I was good and also made some rice. When I was craving for white rice before going to the hospital, then now I have been wanting brown, as I had it too much there.

My breakfast porridge was not good today and I again felt like wasting calories. At the same time I felt that maybe it helped that I repeated "food is food and you gotta eat". There are things in life that are more important. At least I try to think like that.

I had some panic at lunch. I went to the store to get food, but card terminals didn't work. Of course I didn't have cash more than an euro and I was thinking I need to settle for a yoghurt or something. But I spent so much time walking around in panic that when I finally go to the register, card terminals were working again and I got to buy some food. :D Now I know to always have some cash in hand.

Wednesday

I finally got my bread yesterday. So for breakfast I made some porridge with apple jam and bread with butter and fresh cucumber. It was so good. I feel like I could just have this whole loaf of bread by itself. (Haven't you heard - I love bread?)

What else is new is that I have so. many. emotions. Less negative ones than I did at the hospital, but mostly I am... confused. I don't really understand what I am feeling. Or at least I cannot put it into words.

There is a lot to do. People to meet and talk to and in general just go around. I have been just cut out of my life for two months. I would like to do even more, but I try to be calmer at the same time.

Thursday

My weight... fuck. Today morning it was 42,7, which means it has gone down by quite a bit. On Monday I will be seeing the doctor, too. I don't know how this is possible - all I have been doing is eating and I have stuck to all the snacks and stuff. I will keep trying and hope it will help.

I am feeling... I don't even know. I still have a lot of guilt about eating and I keep worrying ahead a lot. More than at the hospital. I mean, now I understand what they told about things being harder at home. Before I didn't believe it, I was convinced I could do it on my own. But right now I am not giving up and I will try to do all I can so I wouldn't have to go back in January.

What else have I been doing or stuck to - I have been reading for an hour every night. I finally started Christopher Paolini's "Inheritance" and it is quite good. I won't make it to my goal (20 books per year), but next year I will pass it easy, if I keep going like this. I thought I'd start with all the books I have bought but not read and then move on. And borrow stuff from my friends, as a lot of them have a proper library at home. :D

I should get on with some challenges again soon. There are several ideas I have, and there may be another collaboration coming. We shall see.

Also, next year I will try to get a press pass for Tallinn Music Week again. In 2017 I was, and it was really awesome experience. My 2017 articles are up on Nordik Simit page here.

This is now official. I have tried hundred different teas (by now even more :D).

Firstly I will add some pictures of my tea diary and finally I will write about my three favourite teas, which came as a surprise.



My tea diary in all of it's glory. Actually I wish it was much more detailed and better, but I will continue writing in it, so I can make changes. At the moment I have written down my emotions and thoughts regarding the teas, but ideally I would write about the taste, smell, colour... but for me it is important how the tea makes me feel. Do I like to drink it? Would I offer it to people visiting me?

I don't understand people who don't drink tea (for example my mum :D). It is like a hug in a cup. Warm and comforting. Just good. It is much better to talk with a cup of tea, than say... water? :D



I thought that this Salted Caramel Green Tea will be in my top 3, but surprisingly it did not happen. But still, it is super good and I recommend you try it given the chance. This was sent by a friend in London, because I couldn't find it elsewhere and I discovered it thanks to a youtuber who recommended it. :D I have had it for a long time, but I still have some left. As I wrote down, this is my SOS-tea, tea for difficult days.



There were all kinds of teas, some good and some not so good. For example this Minty Morocco was hor-ri-ble. I don't know why, but it was just disgusting.



A lot of the tastes were surprising. Of course there were normal ones, green and black ones, fruit ones, but then there were some with lime and chilli? Amazing idea! And when it tasted actually good, it was awesome.

Anyway, I guess you came here to see what are my top 3 teas. So time to talk about them...

ON THIRD PLACE is a surprise tea, white tea with strawberries. I got it from a friend when I was at the hospital and I fell in love with the first sip. So clean, so good, so nice. White tea and strawberries are such simple things to combine, yet it was fantastic and got on top of my list. If you are fast and come to visit me, maybe there is still some left and you can try it. :D



ON SECOND PLACE is also a surprise tea - funny cranberry, which I ordered from teepood.eu. This is cranberry and egg liquor fruit tea. I ordered several different ones and thought my favourite will be spicy chai or Vienna's apple strudle, but here you go. The one with the simples names was the one to win my heart. Again repeating what I already said - if you come to visit me, you can try ot. Or order it from https://teepood.eu/toode/lobus-johvikas/.



FIRST SPOT is boring. It is... drumroll... Greenfield's Earl Grey. I don't know if it is because I had so much of it at the hospital or it is something else, but nothing beats this. The best!



Anyway I shall continue trying different teas. I think I have had about 103-104, but I am sure there are much more to try! And as always - if there is a tea you would like me to try, let me know (or send it to me) or ask me out to have tea.