We all have them.

I have decided to write a little about the physical side of my eating disorder, how I am affected. I will try to kind of make a list and give an overview.

1. Injuries heal super slowly

Also it is very difficult with the braces - there are blisters in my mouth after they were put on my teeth on 12.03 and until now the situation still hasn't gotten better. It still hurts the same to eat. Maybe the blisters have become a little smaller, but I still can't see them healing.

I also cut into my finger while cooking the other day - or well, more than two weeks ago, but the wound is still there and has me wearing a bandaid.

This happens due to anorexia. My body has too little nutrients to help with healing. Also this is the reason the bruises appear really easily. All of the energy my body gets from the food is used up to keep me alive. Regarding skin, I can also say that my skin is really dry and cracking. Lotions help, but not too much.

2. It is cold all the time

Or most of the time at least. Except for when sun is shining right on top of you or you are being active or wear enough clothes to be warm.

Often people around me complain that they are too hot or I am thinking that wow, they are wearing so little clothes, how are they able to do this? Only in the sun during the summer or in the hot shower I finally feel warm. And just for a moment too.

I have been thinking about my obsession of drinking shit ton of tea and I have to say that partly I do it because I am cold all the freaking time. And at some points, when I got tired of tea, I actually just had hot water to drink.

With being cold, there is also a thing where your body grows small hair all over your body. I haven't noticed it on me, but it is a thing.

Also I have taken my temperature at some points, just out of the interest, but I wouldn't say my body temperature is lower. It is usually 36,3 degrees. But well, it used to be 36,7 usually.

Anyway yeah, calories turn into heat and if there are no calories, it is just cold. Also there is this weird night sweat thing. Whenever I pull myself together and eat properly (more than usual) during the day, I get terrible night sweats. This is also connected with hormones, but it really seems as if my body is confused about what to do with the exctra energy and thus turns it into heat. It is, in fact, a sign of recovery, by the way. As my body is starting to work properly.

3. Amenorrea

The lack of menstruation.

I don't even want to write it down how long I haven't had it, but you should know that it has been a case for a loooong time.

This is really dangerous and it is possible that I won't be able to have kids in the future. I don't even know if I really want to have kids in the future, but still, I don't want to fuck up my life for forever. Because what if...

Also it is said that you are not recovered until you get several periods in a row properly. Ah, by the way, a lot of people don't even lose their period so it is not something that must definitely happen.

4. It hurts to sit down

There is not muscle, you are basically sitting on your bones. It is the best to sit on a sofa or on a chair with a cushion, but this is not available all the time. So sometimes I pick standing up instead of sitting.

Also it is kind of painful to lean against edge of the table or similar; I usually just hit my bones agains them, getting a bruise that doesn't go away for a while.

5. After eating I feel in pain and uncomfortable

I am used to having a big portion of food, but it just doesn't have too many calories. Whenever I have something "heavier", I feel like something is pulling my skin on my stomach. I also could get nauseous, which I am not sure if I imagine it or if it is an actual thing.

This feeling of discomfort can last for hours or even all day. With this, I also get the urge to skip meals and snacks (which I am not allowing myself to do at the moment!).



Tried different flavours of rice cakes - apple and cinnamon ones are the best.

But for example yesterday I had one caramel rice cake more than I usually had had, and I felt soooo awful. My whole body was uncomfortavle, even though I could logically understand that it was really little and it doesn't matter. I felt guilty for a whole day, but well, I had it. I also had a bigger dinner than usually - this is a win.

6. Insomnia

My insomnia is caused by depression and the fact that I have ran out of some meds (I finally could talk to my doctor yesterday though), but this is still one of the anorexia symptoms as well.

I feel awful writing it down but... I have had some sleepless nights because I have simply been too hungry. But for the most part I just can't sleep without a reason.

7. Thin hair

I used to have really thick and nice hair, but for the last I don't know how long, their situation is not that great. They are thin, dry (but get dirty really fast) and just are so awful. I look ridiculous after washing and drying them.

This can be sort of fixed by using face masks and conditioners, but I feel like there won't be proper change unless I gain some weight and have more nutrients to support my hair growth.


Also I wanted to say that there are more symptoms, but it is not that everyone gets them all. I just brought out the ones I have noticed in MYSELF, so I hope people won't be mad if I missed something. I wanted to add that my situation is now a lot better, but I wrote stuff down, remembering how it has been previously. But in reality they still linger even now.