I Won't Quote

As my pasta challenge was quite fun, I thought I will do the rice challenge as well. Besides I think that rice is even scarier. With pasta, it was surprising how big the serving actually was, but rice is small and has quite a lot of clories. But I love it. So anyway, I decided to go for it.

First day

Me and my sister ordered some sushi. We picked a place called Sushiro, but actually had planned to order from somewhere else. But it appeared that the other place we liked didn't deliver to her home. So we needed to change the plans really quickly. It was kind of good, too, as it helped me to be more spontaneous.

We picked maki roll with king oyster mushroom and dried onion (this was the best!), tempura maki with tofu and fresh salad leaves and vegan tempura maki. Aa, we also added simple avocado maki as well. We had some crisps and cookies after sushi, so we didn't go do crazy with the order.

I really liked all of them, but as my sister said, it wasn't really sushi. :D I wanted to taste nori (seaweed) a bit more, that was the thing. I really liked avocado maki, but they were such small pieces. It was also sad that they added so little ginger. I always have some pickled ginger in the fridge, but my sister didn't, so yeah. Serious ginger crisis. Next time I know to order some separately. I am used to the other place and they add a ton of it. :D

But as I mentioned, it was quite good. I am not a big fan of tempura, but it was fine. Good for a change. And it was really sweet that my sister said before ordering that let's pick all vegan sushis then. :D I had this veganuary challenge going on and I couldn't have cream cheese or anything like that. I will post separately about my vegan January, even though I feel like I have so many posts lined up already and maybe I should start posting three times a week instead. We shall see. I could connect some posts, but I want to keep them separate by topics or something.

Anyway, sushi was good and I love rice. :D

Second day

At first I had a plan of making rice and veggies in different ways, but I made a whole bunch of same kind. I used frozen vegetables, then added mushrooms, onion and porridge rice. For the sauce I added a lot of garlic, tons of peanut butter and some soy sauce. Some pepper as well. Then mixed it all up, cut up some tomatoes and ate everything.

I wanted to say that the rice bag says that 50 - 70 grams of dry rice is one portion per person. I added 60 grams per portion, so it was middle somewhere. I swear.

Anyway, there was enough food and I got full. Actually I think I wanted some more, but after dinner I also ate a whole pomelo, so in the end I was even too bloated. :D

For tomorrow I already have a plan, I will eat one thing, then switch it up, then back to the first etc. But yes, I am finally going to make beetroot risotto. I am currently thinking if I should get some cheese as well, because a lot of recipes have it and I think I would like it. Especially with blue cheese or goat cheese. But at the same time I made a deal with myself about not buying animal products and only having them when I have no other option and I am out.

Third day

I made this beetroot risotto with feta cheese and added some zucchini salad on the side. I was surprised how much water it got absorbed into risotto rice. :D When I put everything on the pan and started adding water, I was convinced I had to drain it with a sieve, but I needed to add more than the recipe asked for! 

It tasted super good, I was surprised. I have never really had risotto, except one time I made it at home. Beetroot suited really well. It was also quite quick to make, chopping onions took the most time. I gad minced garlick already and then I just needed to wait on 20 minutes until it did it's thing.

I was scared that rice portions were too small for me, but it was exactly right. I was full enough, but still could have dessert. :D

Also I bought two new ice creams but I haven't yet tried them. I need to do that soon. I thought I will have both on one evening, because having just one is too little, haha. :D I am used to having the whole pint. :D

Now I have food for tomorrow and the day after that, but I will still mark down my emotions and stuff. I haven't yet decided if I will write about my weight change, but I will think about it. I would like to portray that your weight don't magically go up if you eat rice (I am sure it doesn't).

Next I will be doing potato challenge and I am already excited, it has been a while. I have some recipes lined up to get inspiration from, but this may still change. Anyway, I feel like this 5 day pasta challenge REALLY helped me. Like, for real, I am not scared of pasta anymore. And before, when I had pasta like once a month, I could handle it, but it was still frightning. And today I also thought that rice is so good, why haven't I had it in a while? Like when I have made a stew or something, why haven't I paired it up with rice? It would be more filling and everything. So yes, I will start doing this in the future. :D There is some real progress going on.

Fourth day

Today I warmed up this rice with vegetables and peanut butter sauce and I also added some fresh salad with romano cabbage, tomato, bell pepper and cucumber. It tasted really good and I was really hungry so I basically inhailed it. Also honestly I like having food on the second or third day a lot, I feel like it tastes so much more flavoursome. :D But at the same time I like making food, so this meal prepping doesn't seem to be for me after all. Anyway, the food was really good!

After that I also had another pomelo, because, well, they are still in season and I love them. Having rice hasn't become as easy as it was with pasta though, this is surprising. Because I feel like it wasn't as scary when I started. But reality is different.

For lunches I have challenged myself with having bread or toast. It has become difficult again, though I used to have it every day. It just goes to show me that you need to repeat your actions. So at least I am having proper lunches too this week. Like another day I had black bread sandwitch with mayo and grilled vegetables and it was really good. I don't know what is up with me and lunches. Oh well, we will get over it.

On Thursday my coworker promised to bring some cake, as she will be staying home with a baby soon. So it will be a small challenge. Recently it has become diffiult to have food when it is not food or snack time. I just need to do this.

I feel like I am motivated today again. :D But I am not complaining, because I was at a really low point for a few days. But now I am back on track again.

Fifth day

Today it will be another day of beetroot risotto with feta cheese. I thought that maybe I should write why I decided to buy cheese. It was because vegan diet seemed too restrictive. Yep. I understand that there are alternatives for everything, but still, considering where I am right now, in the process of healing from and ED, I don't feel like I would be vegan for right reasons. Yes, I have discovered that animals, birds and fish are really important, but I KNOW for a fact I would use veganism as a way to restrict myself. And I don't want to do that. I have been suffering with an anorexia for 3-4 years now and I don't want to keep staying in one position.

At the same time I need to highlight that people HAVE gotten over their eating disorders while being evgan. And if you can do this, GO YOU! YOU DO YOU! It is amazing and I am really happy for you, honestly. But it doesn't work for me at the moment. Yes, I would love to be vegan in the future, but I don't feel like I can do this right now. If you think worse of me because of this then... at least I have tried explaining. Honestly, I think doing a little and having vegan food as much as possible, is better than doing nothing. :)

... today's dinner was really good. But I discovered I took too little salad yesterday, so this time there was too much of it left. But it is fine, I love fresh salad. At one point it was the only thing I used to eat - I made it to take to work with me, I had it as a dinner. Today I paired it with beetroot risotto and feta cheese and I got much more full and satiated. :D Whenever I had only salad, I felt physically full, but I still craved for food. And I never let myself have some. Now things are more normal.

Of course I wanted to have something sweet right after, so I had an apple. But I didn't stop there of course. :D There was this Expensive calories show on TV again and I needed to watch it with ice cream.

But regaring this show, I learned something new. Banana = scrambled eggs. Yep. Nutritionist, who'se work is to, well, make people eat better, have a vegan girl banana instead of scrambled eggs. Amazing. *world's biggest facepalm*. There was some green salad and two dry slices of bread on the side as well. :DDD

What else... oh, I "liked" how they worked out. Especially when they said "let's kill this kohuke dessert" :)))))). Lovely. And how people in the show started to hate the word dessert and had this negative connection with the word. Very cool. Well thought out.

My friend also said that this "calories cupboard" with sweets and drinks is just as good as to add a fridge with beer to alcoholics anonymous meeting. :D Nice, isn't it?

And there was some holistic nutritionist who I really didn't understand. I don't know, they mentioned that with eating disorders, psychologist and psychiatrists deal with them, so at least that. But to have a psychologist in the show... probably too much to ask for? We will see what they do in the next episodes. Anyway yes, ee, I didn't like the episode.

I wanted to mention that the participants though are really nice and I really feel for them. It was sad to see how one girl was really upsed on the previous episode and one on this one. Would have liked to tell them some encouraging words.

At least my ice cream was tasty and Motu also liked it!

In conclusion

Rice challenge was really fun. I really liked FINALLY making risotto, it had been on my list for a long time already. And during the last two days it was easier to eat rice as well. Maybe it helped that I had a huge salad on the side - it was familiar and encouraging. Also people keep saying that don't take things out of your menu, just add to it. Like if you love potato fries, make something nutritious to go WITH them. If at one point I would have had only salad, now I added risotto. And ate it all.

What was my favourite this week? I think it was risotto indeed. Rice was a bit different and this other dish had too much peanut butter. :D I can't believe there is such thing as too much peanut butter.

Now I am starting the potato challenge and I have a set plan, seems exciting. I will use a lot of new stuff as well. I actually thought I would give some time for myself before doing another challenge, but I really crave for potatoes so why not start now, right. :D

I got up really early in the morning, at 5:30. Usually I wake up around 6, but I wanted to make pancakes. I have been dreaming about them since the beginning of January, but I have always been just too lazy. Now finally it was time. I also discovered a hack: make more pancakes and put the rest in the freezer (I put some parchment paper between them, so they wouldn't stuck together) and then I can have them when I want. I had them with apple jam my mum made. It tasted so good, it was exactly what I had been wanting.

How did my weight change? Well, to be honest, it didn't. So just go for it and have all the rice you want. Because I am planning to. (And I still need to make some gains, so I think I will be having ice cream every night again... I am not complaining.)

This month I am taking pictures of my dinners too, so maybe the posts are going to be a bit repetitive, but I will try not to do this. I will try and cook a lot of new meals as well. Like another day I discovered they are selling plaintains in the store, I have always wanted to try it! Should really do that. Have you ever had it?

And I need to try more vegan stuff again. In January I tried loads, but in February, there hasn't been much yet. There are some things to come, but as I have found my favourites, I keep buying the same stuff. And there is no point in reviewing something several times. :D I have some items waiting for me tohugh.

So this was the rice challenge. I feel good. I would like to make a plan that after all of these challenges I will be having pasta, rice, potatoes and other grains at least once every week. And then go from there. :D It would be a good thing to base your diet around.

Rice appears and disappears in my list of fear foods. On some days I am scared of it, on some days I am not. It depends on a day and what I have had on that day. At one point it remained in my list of fear foods... For example I have made some stew and had it with rice. And then on some days I have just had the stew by itself. And then automatically I get this thought that "oh, I didn't add rice, I shouldn't add it next time either".  This happens a lot with eating disorders - if you make food one way then next time it is difficult to change this behavior. All the time you are comparing food and making up these stupid rules.

But I like rice, and a lot. All kinds of sushis and curries with rice and vegetables are probably one of my favourite foods. So finally I decided to make some Japanese curry and with this, rice is a must.



Luckily I have a sister who keeps repeating that it is okay and I am allowed to eat. :D  Funny that I need a permission from someone else to eat something. Logically I understand that I can eat and be and do what I want, but it feels good if someone confirms it. I think this is really stupid, but it is what it is. At the same time I feel like there is less of it now than it used to be; even though I still get overwhelmed with guilt, I get over it faster. I can fight with these emotions better myself now. And I think this is a big plus.

What is also weird, is the fact that currently rice is not in my fear foods list, but I can't have it several days in a row. Not even because I would get bored of it, I just feel like... I had it and now I am supposed to eat something else. :D Maybe I SHOULD have rice indeed for the several days in a row to get over it? God, I have used the word "rice" so many times writing this post that it doesn't even seem like a word anymore.

Anyway, it is super easy to make Japanese curry. You just pick whatever you like (for example chicken and veggies), cut them up, fry them up a little, add some water and curry cubes. I used only vegetables of course - carrots, potatoes and onions. This is also very good. Most of the taste you get from the curry cubes. I am glad I stocked up on curry in Japan. :D



To have with the curry, I made some sushi rice and it was a perfect dinner. One of the best Japanese curries that I have made - most of the time it has been too bland, but this time I used 2 cubes instead of one, even though I accidentally saw the calories for one... Anyway, my sister really liked the food too, so soon we shall make it again. I need to buy some vegetables but other than that I have everything ready at home.

It is quite fast to make this food, it only took about 20 minutes and it was ready.

Also I have been meaning to ask - is it okay that I post so often? Or should I start doing it again only on Mondays and Fridays? :D At the moment I have things to write about, but soon I am running out of ideas I am afraid. I have been writing more to fight the boredom of social isolation. I have started a couple of challenges, but making them takes a little more time.

I am afraid we have to remain at home for a long period. I am sad for my sister, she is a math teacher and it is quite difficult to teach this subject via e-mails and online...

I would gladly go back to the office. I feel like I am more productive there and can focus more. It is not like at home where I get distracted a lot, where I don't have a proper chair and desk... I just keep thinking of the most random things.

We shall see what will happen.