Becoming friends with rice / I made Japanese curry

11:24:00 PM

Rice appears and disappears in my list of fear foods. On some days I am scared of it, on some days I am not. It depends on a day and what I have had on that day. At one point it remained in my list of fear foods... For example I have made some stew and had it with rice. And then on some days I have just had the stew by itself. And then automatically I get this thought that "oh, I didn't add rice, I shouldn't add it next time either".  This happens a lot with eating disorders - if you make food one way then next time it is difficult to change this behavior. All the time you are comparing food and making up these stupid rules.

But I like rice, and a lot. All kinds of sushis and curries with rice and vegetables are probably one of my favourite foods. So finally I decided to make some Japanese curry and with this, rice is a must.

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Luckily I have a sister who keeps repeating that it is okay and I am allowed to eat. :D  Funny that I need a permission from someone else to eat something. Logically I understand that I can eat and be and do what I want, but it feels good if someone confirms it. I think this is really stupid, but it is what it is. At the same time I feel like there is less of it now than it used to be; even though I still get overwhelmed with guilt, I get over it faster. I can fight with these emotions better myself now. And I think this is a big plus.

What is also weird, is the fact that currently rice is not in my fear foods list, but I can't have it several days in a row. Not even because I would get bored of it, I just feel like... I had it and now I am supposed to eat something else. :D Maybe I SHOULD have rice indeed for the several days in a row to get over it? God, I have used the word "rice" so many times writing this post that it doesn't even seem like a word anymore.

Anyway, it is super easy to make Japanese curry. You just pick whatever you like (for example chicken and veggies), cut them up, fry them up a little, add some water and curry cubes. I used only vegetables of course - carrots, potatoes and onions. This is also very good. Most of the taste you get from the curry cubes. I am glad I stocked up on curry in Japan. :D

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To have with the curry, I made some sushi rice and it was a perfect dinner. One of the best Japanese curries that I have made - most of the time it has been too bland, but this time I used 2 cubes instead of one, even though I accidentally saw the calories for one... Anyway, my sister really liked the food too, so soon we shall make it again. I need to buy some vegetables but other than that I have everything ready at home.

It is quite fast to make this food, it only took about 20 minutes and it was ready.

Also I have been meaning to ask - is it okay that I post so often? Or should I start doing it again only on Mondays and Fridays? :D At the moment I have things to write about, but soon I am running out of ideas I am afraid. I have been writing more to fight the boredom of social isolation. I have started a couple of challenges, but making them takes a little more time.

I am afraid we have to remain at home for a long period. I am sad for my sister, she is a math teacher and it is quite difficult to teach this subject via e-mails and online...

I would gladly go back to the office. I feel like I am more productive there and can focus more. It is not like at home where I get distracted a lot, where I don't have a proper chair and desk... I just keep thinking of the most random things.

We shall see what will happen.

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