I Won't Quote

First month after the hospital was difficult. There were a lot of ups and downs and guilt. But a lot of motivation, want to do something and meet people. I will try to make a list of negative things and end with positive ones. Negatives - I lost some weight at first. - I kept comparing meals to other's, like my sister's. -...

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We went to a really cute cafe! I have Christmas stress. And not because I don't have gifts for people or because I have to organize something. I am stressed about eating. This year Christmas are mid-week too - one day of work, then three days off and then one workday again, and then weekend. It is the weird time, nothing to do...

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Found a book that is perfect for me. Once I read it, I will probably write a longer post about it. At the moment I have only read one page and I am already hooked. It is exactly the kind of self-help book I'd love to get for Christmas. Sunday, 15.12.2019 Breakfast 9:00 - two slices of handmade seedy bread with butter, cheese...

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I am not really the kind of person who makes New Year's resolutions and would stick to them. I still get the thoughts like, oh, it is New Year, I should get a grip on my life, but usually that's about it. This year I decided to write down some goals instead of resolutions. I think sticking with them would be easier, than...

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Me and some of my friends went to a Japanese restaurant I have been wanting to visit for forever. I had tantan vegan ramen and it was amazing. Highly recommend! Overeating or binge I don't really have that often. But at the same time I can't say there haven't been some moments like this. It is Christmas time and there are a lot...

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Went to Tartu to see the nurse from eating disorder facility and my psychologist. Morning's weigh in was good, 43,1 kgs, meaning I have gained some weight back and I am almost where I was when I was discharged. Now I have to keep this up. (At the hospital it was 44,2, but I had eaten before. :D) Anyway, they were pleased with...

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Monday Weigt had gone down 200 grams, so now I am 43,1 kgs. This is not a huge problem, as last time my weight had gone up surprisingly much. Aslo I have been home since Friday afternoon and moved a bit more. I will try to change it by Thursday. I have a doctor's appointment on the ninth, and by then I want...

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This is now official. I have tried hundred different teas (by now even more :D). Firstly I will add some pictures of my tea diary and finally I will write about my three favourite teas, which came as a surprise. My tea diary in all of it's glory. Actually I wish it was much more detailed and better, but I will continue writing...

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When I got out on Friday, I went to my parents' place and took a bus back to home on Saturday. I think I will post separately about foods and how my normal days are going to look like. I just wanted to write initial emotions down. 1. It is weird. All the things are different. For example I couldn't even hold on...

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We made earrings and key chains in art therapy. Monday And the final week begins. I get to leave on Friday after the snack at 3 pm... can't wait. And currently it is 1 pm on Monday. My roommate here went to Tallinn Black Food Festival and brought me my favourite vegan restaurant's brownie. It was really good, even though I was scared...

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I think this is the easiest way to describe how I am feeling, and maybe it is a bit funny too: I think I am the biggest crier at the hospital. When someone asks why I am taking medication. It is quite impossible to function without. Me when I blog. Most days when things are not going as I want them to. Exactly....

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Globus Estonia sent me their products as a gift. Can't wait to go home and cook something with it. Thursday It has been hard. Morning snack was bigger than I would have needed and during the lunch snack I had to have extra candy, that threw me off. From meal times, the dinner was too big - oily pasta and all this additional...

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Tuesday I don't know why, but since the doctor said I get to go home for a month, I have been feeling really anxious. Of course I want to go home, yet it is scary. Not that I couldn't handle it - I believe that I can - but because I don't want to come back later. I will also be going to...

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Misfortune cookie message to me. Thursday Because of the morning's weigh in, I needed to be in a wheelchair when going out again. I hope I get to talk about this with my doctor and next time I can walk. I cannot wait for this moment. Wheelchair joys. Today I have had so many extra things in my menu from the morning. For...

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Sunday Breakfast 8:30 - millet porridge, coffee, bread and toast with butter, eggs and tomatoes, 200g cottage cheese, Skyr blueberry yoghurt. (I don't understand why they add so much stuff. What is this based on? Even the menu, which has more calories, for example the protein rich diet, doesn't have any extra stuff. Others just had bread and toast with butter and sausage,...

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I am very upset I was made to try halva (arabic sweet thing, made with sesame seeds or peanuts). I have never really liked it, so I am not too positive about it. I don't know if the raiting is bad because I couldn't pick what I wanted, but yeah. I'd give this 5/10. I really wanted to try the new Halloween chocolate....

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