I Won't Quote

Another time I had lunch outside this weekend and this time we went to a restaurant called ÜLO. I have been wanting to go there for ages. Now in past few weeks this is third time eating out. It was a bit stressful, not gonna lie, but it was less so than past times. This is becoming normal and nothing to be scared of it seems.

Atmosphere

The restaurant itself is really nice. Quiet. There were a few other tables vesides us, but not too many. At the same time you couldn't hear what other people were talking about, so that is a plus. I don't really like places that are echo-y and it is difficult to talk.

Interior was nice and pretty. It really fit into the area it is located at. It was more important to eat and chat with my companion, so I can't really talk too much about the atmosphere. :D

Service

Again - really nice. It was fast and considering. Menus were brought to the table right away and the girl came and took our order soon eough.

Near us a lady dropped her wine glass and it was dealt with really fast and without any hassle. So this is a huge plus. :D The food came fast again. For example when we went to Commune Cafe, it had a lot of customers and we had to wait for quite a long time to be honest. But they warned us, so it was fine. :D Anyway, I really liked ÜLO.

Food

For the food we picked mushroom tacos and also sweet potato fries with kimchi.

Taco was amazing. Really good mix of tastes. Well, it wasn't too pretty to eat, but it is like that with tacos. :D Anyway, the tortilla was soft, so it made it a bit easier. Would have been even more messy with a hard shell.

And kimchi fries were okay. It also had some mayo on top and it was really good. The kimchi itself was more like sauerkraut, it didn't seem to have the right seasoning. Quite similar to the ones they have at Burger Box (where we also thought about going, but we planned for ÜLO this time).

To conclude, I was really happy with the food and I want to go back for sure.

I also wanted to write about not going to the gym for a whole week. I really didn't plan it, and I would have loved to go, but there were so many other things I had to do. I am regretting it a bit, but not because oh now I couldn't burn calories, but because I have paid for the whole month and it is makes no sense to not go. :D

Monday was fine, because it was the beginning of the week and I didn't have time. Instead I went home, made nice meal for me and my sister and enjoyed the evening as good as I could. First day in like a week and a half where I didn't do anything with anyone and didn't have any plans. It was nice. :D Sometimes I need this MY-time a little. And I needed to rest. Resting is something I am not really good at and I need to practice it more.

On Tuesday I went to a friend's place and we talked and watched some TV. It was a nice calm evening. Ah, we also had some mulled wine, because I made this small "pick me up" gift for them, because their situation has been a bit difficult recently.

On Wednesday I went to another friend's place and it was soooo nice. At work I had a tough day and it really helped me. Also her kid is waiting for "aunty Singe" all the time, so I couldn't not go. :D I also went to Kristiine shopping center for a bit to get some gifts, because it is Christmas soon! It is already December, that is crazy!

On Thursday I went to a friend's place again and we watched ELF. I had never seen it! And it was quite good. Not my favourite, but a nice watch still. :D I do understand now why people like it and why it seems that every human being on the planet earth has seen it.

And on Friday I went to visit a friend again. :D Actually I had a plan to go to the gym, but because of the circumstances, I had home office and also saw my doctor. And as I had a plan to visit someone, I was too tired to go to the gym on that day. Also, when I went to the doctor's, I got to do some walking anyway.

Anyway, to sum up - I didn't gain a ton of weight. It didn't matter that I didn't work out at all. I understood that in fact I don't have to do it. By the end of the week my thought about needing to go to the gym had disappeared. And on Saturday, when I went to the yoga class, it was just to feel good mentally. And I wanted to go, there were no eating disorder driven reasons.

Now it is Monday and I am feeling okay. My weight went a bit up again, but it was because me and my sister had a whole 500 gram pack of pistachio nuts and they were salty. And we also had some mulled wine. All this salt and water and stuff probably just added up, it won't exit your system as fast as you may think. I have FINALLY realised this. :D

And I am not really bothered by it. Things are going as they need to go and sometimes you just need to enjoy life. Also, it was our last evening together like this for I don't know how long, because yesterday I got the keys to my own flat!

I went to look over the flat and get the keys on Sunday and it was sooooo weird. I sat on the bed and just looked at the livingroom and I don't understand that this is now mine. For a week I am still staying with my sister, because I don't want to carry everything home by hand, but today I am going there, as some technician guy is coming to set up the internet. I also thought I will wash the floors, so it would be done. The flat is clean, so that is good. I don't need to do much else.

Now I need some furniture. On Saturday I went to IKEA and Masku with a friend, but I still didn't find a sofa I like D:. I don't know what to do. I NEED it. For the flat I in general need quite a bit of stuff. Sofa, table, some kind of shelf, new cupboard for the bathroom, TV... and there are a lot of things probably still.

I am so happy people have offered help and said that they are coming to carry my stuff if necessary. Someone even offered to help me out with a car, if the things fit. We shall see how this goes. Anyway, I am excited. I thought about adding some pictures here, but I will do that once I have settled in. Also, I want to show how cool lights I have and omg omg omg I am sooo excited.

So... FINALLY!

I could start this post in hundred different wats and complain about thousand different things. I could write about how weekend was really difficult for me and how I am feeling tortured and can't get over things. I could write about how I am doing and what I am thinking about. But weirdly enough for the first time I feel like I want to keep this to myself and I don't want to share it. I don't want to explain how my Saturday night went badly and how awful I am still feeling and how much guilt I have.

Today morning my weight was so big. I haven't seen this number in at least 5 years. This also showed weight gain of two kilos, which I know makes no sense, but made me really upset. But I still started (yes, I already started) this week's challenge. So on Friday I can tell you how it went.

But today I wanted to write about this cafe? Restaurant? called St. Maria, which used to have a different name.

I went there on Sunday with a friend to have lunch (it is still difficult to have lunch out) and it was a good experience. It was raining and we were walking, but this was on the way. And at first we only wanted to have coffee (which would have been okay), but we also decided to have some food.

Atmosphere

It was a quite small place, but it had ebough room. There were several people there at this time, a few bigger tables and then some others. I really liked how the room was used and they had those high tables on the sides of the rooms - perfect for two people.

The interior was dark and pretty. Dishes were mostly black (also, I finally picked up my parcels and got my black dishes!) and looked very stylish. Also the place was quite cozy, there were candles on the tables and it had some fairy lights. Anyway, really nice, adorable and quiet. You could look outside into the rain. Perfect place.

Also the waitress was really sweet, she asked if we had been there earlier and gettin no as an answer, she explained us the menu, brought out what is popular and so on.

Service

As I mentioned, the girl who was working, was really sweet and it seemed like she actually wanted to be there. It is always a plus - I am not in the mood to have food if a waitress or waiter acts as if I am just a troll wasting their time.

But yeah, she gave us good advice and explained everything. In addition to food I also had a coffee with coconut milk and it was really good and was delivered fast. Also, it was really nice that we didn't have to wait too long with ordering - everything was really perfect. :D

Food

I picked Padthai, which I had seen recommended in Estonian vegan group on Facebook soooooo many times. Even when the restaurant had another name, I already wanted to try it. Now finally I did.

I have never had it before, except for on time when I made it at home. It was a bit upsetting that it had peanuts there, but the taste combo was good and they fit perfectly.

My friend had green curry ramen and I tried it and it was really good as well. Nice and spicy. At first we both wanted kimchi ramen, but they had ran out of it. But well, it means we need to go back next time. :D I managed to go to Commune Cafe for the second time, maybe I can go there as well.

Also there are still sooooo many places I want to visit. Like Vegan V! This is highly recommended and I would like to support them, it is first of like... really popular and known vegan places in Tallinn. But I want to visit so many other places as well, it is really difficult to decide. :D

Anyway yeah, this having lunch thing went pretty well. I managed. Later I felt a bit awful, but the thought that I had food with someone else helped. It was normalllll and it is okayyyyy. I managed and that is enough.

Today is one of the most difficult days in general. And it is not helping that it is Monday. I don't like Mondays. Or Tuesdays. Or like in general I don't like the working week. My day is a bit better thanks to writing this post, it is my-time.

Last week I was really busy. There were so many things to do and there were no days when I went home after work. Today shoulf be one of those days and I actually feel really relieved finally. I feel like I was at the end of my nerves. It was especially bad on Saturday - I felt soooo worn out.

But yeah, I am trying to do my challenge this week and let's see, maybe I can manage and continue with the desserts. Even though I feel like I don't want to do anything and please just leave me alone. I just want to complain and cry, but at the same time I don't as well. Weird.

But... next week during the same time I have my own flat! And soon I can show everything I have bought! Yesterday I went and picked up the parcels. Soooo exciting. I showed everything to my sister already. :D Anyway yes, starting from 29th of November at 4 you can congratulate me. :D

As it was my sister's birthday on 31st of August, we needed to celebrate it. For that, in the morning I booked us a table at F-Hoone. I have been there a few times before and the menu seemed really good, something for the both of us.

Atmosphere

We were super lucky! We got a separated table by the window and I have been wanting to be seated there from the first time I visited this restaurant. :D Finally it happened. We made ourselves look pretty - it was a birthday! - and getting to our table, we were pleasantly surprised.

F-Hoone was full of people as almist always. Even though it was Monday evening at 18:30. :D Anyway, I am glad they are doing well. The rooms there are big and made by bricks, but people's chat can't really be heard and it is like a nice white noise. :D

Menu is also really good, and I especally liked that it had vegetarian and vegan options brought out separately. And it has a wide selection of drinks. Actually, picking a drink took us the longest. :D

Service

Our server was a really nice girl! Honestly, it was really nice and a lot different from our last dinner out. :D 

Anyway, we managed to pick out meals, but picking drinks was really difficult. She came to ask at the right time, if we have decided, and also gave out good suggestions. Finally we did pick according to her suggestions and we were not disappinted. And I really liked that she didn't come to our table too often to ask, if everything was okay. In the end, yes, but not constantly while we were eating. :D This has happened before.

So yeah, the service was really good.

Food

For food, my sister picked Nasi Goreng, meaning Indonesian fried rice with chicken and I took Vegan Furger (rye bread bun with vegan kebab, beetroot hummus, prsley-chilliaioli, tomato and red onion. With additional sweet potato fries).

Honestly I haven't had such a giid meal in a while. My sister was also please with her selection, but the thing I had!!! This kebab was so real, even my sister was like, is this actually vegan. :D Anyway, it was also quite big of a challenge at the same time.

I have been thinking for a while that I want to go to a restaurant and have a burger. I have always been jealous of people who have just done it. I have always thought that this is not meant for me. But why? I have no idea. It is allowed! It doesn't matter that it had hummus. It doesn't matter it had deep fried sweet potato fries (they were amazing!), it doesn't matter that it had roasted onion on top. This all was so good together and I was really pleased. I got full enough, but not too much. Everything was enough and the combination of foods perfect. Honestly, I really recommend this to both vegans, vegetarians and meat eaters. You won't regret it.

I don't know if the fact that for burger buns were of rye bread made it easier or tougher... honestly, I think it made it more difficult. White bread or normal burger buns are usually lighter and have less calories than bread. (Honestly I wish I didn't know this, but I do...) So yeah, a challenge.

But on this day I was very good and had all of my meals and snacks and didn't pass on anything. Which is huge for me. I really wanted to skip something, but I didn't do it. I send pictures my sister as well, like see, this is my morning snack (chocolate), this is my lunch and this is my lunch snack (also chocolate).

Then we also wanted to have something to drink and we really thought about everything from cider to lemonade to beer and wine and cocktails. Our waitress recommended two cocktails: Chilli Queen (which my sister picked and that had hibiskus gin, rose lemonade, chilli syrup, lemon juice and basil) and Rosebud (which had Crafter's gin, rose lemonade, thyme, rosebuds and lime juice. I asked them to skip the thyme as I have a trauma from it. :D).

We picked two different drinks so we could try more stuff. I think I liked the one my sister got more - as the time passed, it became more spicy and it was really interesting. Anyway, I highly recommend those. Other cocktails in the list seemed interesting as well, but as I am gin fan, I was pleased. My sister was also happy with our selections.

Recently it seems that we have been out for food quite often, but it happens. I want to try more places. List is long, and I do have time, but I feel bad for spending so much. :D In reality I would like this blog to just be reviews of restaurants.

Also, at one point I watched some youtuber with an eating disorder and she talked about how she got better. She said that during the most difficult time, she always ate out. Just to take this load of deciding about how much to have away. Also she said she always ate everything that she ordered, which I also do. Because if I leave something once, I get this feeling that the next time I need to leave more or the same amount and so on. That is why I never make food for 2 days at home as well. Because I don't know how much I would have to leave for the next day and so on. It makes me stressed. What if I want to have more food today? Then there is not enough for tomorrow. What will I add to it then? Also it is good to eat out because the portions are usually bigger than I would get for myself and I need to eat more to gain weight. So win-win.

So, who wants to go and eat something with me?

Me and my sister went out for dinner and we picked a cafe, which was 100% vegan and what I have been wanting to visit for forever, as I have heard so many good things about it.

Atmosphere

Commune Cafe atmosphere and interior are amazing. It was really nice, a bit hipster, but not too much. Kind of minimalistic. I really liked that they have a lot of plants and a lot of room, tables are not too close together. I really liked they used a lot of wood and even dishes matched with the environment.

At the cafe it wasn't too cold or too warm, even though the door was open and we could hear some cars. It did not bother us, though, we barely noticed it and in general the place was really comfy. The location is good as well, and it was nice to see that even on Monday evening the place was quite full. At the same time there weren't too many people so we still managed to get a table. I really don't like to book a table in advance, because I am never sure if I make it in time. Maybe something comes up. I really like to just walk in and get a seat.

Service

Service... was not too good. I honestly felt like an annoying fly and seemed to ruin the waitress' mood. :D We still got our food quite fast and it looked absolutely delicious. Also the cakes they had on offer looked fantastic. I think that maybe the waitress just had a bad day. I have worked in a restaurant myself and I know how it can be. Anyway, I can't tell more about the service.

The owner of the cafe contacted me, though, and I told her about our visit. It was really sweet and I really appreciate it. :) And as I said, I am not holding it against them and I am sure I will visit the place again in the near future.

Food

Me and my sister both got Buddga bowl, which had roasted sesame seed covered smoked tofu, quinoa, peanut butter-lime sauce, edamame beans, avocado, broccoli, sugar snap beas, salad, and roasted cashews.

And it was really good! REALLY good. Everything fit together so well! At first I thought that there was too much sauce and I will probably leave some, but it was amazing and if anything, there was too little of it. And I hadn't had smoked tofu before and it was super delicious!

There were some more things in the menu that I would like to try. For example English breakfast that has beyond meat sausage and I have been wanting to try this for ages. Ramen also seemed so good. So at least two more visits. :D

In general going out to eat caused me a lot of stress, because on the weekend we already went to eat in Little India and I in general had had a lot of food. My last post here was really motivating and so on, but on the same evening the situation got really hard. I had a lot of food guilt and it was difficult to handle my thoughts. It is still difficult right now - I have so much guilt and my motivation is completely gone. I want to go back to where I was...

It calmed me a bit that my sister had the same food as I did. Of course it would have been good to try different  things, as we could have tasted each other's. But this was good as well. In addition to this, we had some vegan ice creams at home and when my sister suggested it, she told me that she could see how it made me upset. Because it was hard, very hard. But in general this was good time and I really like going out for food. We thought that we could visit a new place like this every month. To break me free from the routine and challenge me. But at the same time I want to go back to the same place, as there were many things I would still like to try... But there are a lot of other places I want to visit as well. She wanted to pick a place herself next time, though. :D I don't really have anything against it - giving away control even more.

Also, we thought that we can make something similar at home. I guess it wouldn't be as good, but it was a good insporation. We usually make these kind of bowl dishes with salsa or soy sauce and mayo (for some weird reason this is such a good combo!), but why not use peanutbutter? We really like it with savoury food, for example I have made a sauce of it for spring rolls and my sister still sometimes talks about it. :D

Haven't made any bowl dishes recently, but for some time it was our favourite meal. Just to mix things together in a bowl. Our most favourite one was susho bowl, where all the ingredients are just mixed together. Who has the patience to roll it, am I right? :D

Now I have been making a lot of zucchini dishes, and there will be a lot more soon, because we still have two small ones and one giant one left.

Firstly I made zucchini and tomato bake with onion, which came out amazing. In the recipe it also says you can top it with cheese, which I did. But I would say that it didn't make it much better, so the vegan version is good as well. (Just slice some tomatoes, onion and zucchini, put them in the baking dish, brush some oil on top and add pepper and salt and other flavourings. Bake for 25 minutes in 200 degrees.) With it, I made some fresh tomato-sour cream salad and yum, it was really good!

I added a lot of parsley as well, that is why it looks so green. :D But yeah, we really liked it! 

The next evening we had a really weird combo of food, as I made grilled cheese and oven baked zucchini. I marinated the zucchini in soy sauce, apple cider vinegar, olive oil, garlic and pepper mix for around an hour. Then I roasted it in 225 degrees for about 20-25 minutes. And ready it was. We really liked it once again! And I would say that the more garlic it has, the better. :D

And lastly I made this zucchini stew, and I was lazy and just added onion, garlic and tomato sauce with peppers and mushrooms. It was so good. I used my trusty multi cooker which I have not used in a while. And for the first time I set my own program, meaning I put it on 200 degrees and let it cook for 35 minutes.

Multi cooker is a nice thing. :D On the side I had some more salad, because we have a lot of tomatoes we need to use up. :D

Anyway, there are many more things I want to try. For example oven omelette with zucchini, zucchini curry, and of course pasta and so on. Well, I'll get around to it. It seems that the zucchinis stay fresh for quite some time, so there is time. And also I want to make zucchini burgers someone mentioned in my blog comments... :)

If I only could get over my weird guilt. I just don't understand, it is so overwhelming. For example yesterday I had a lot of guilt over gooseberries. Like, for real. I hope that this is not a start of a relapse, because I am fighting so hard. But the fact I felt better for some time made me feel so nice so now it is extra difficult. I thought that the high was going to last a bit longer.

I am a little stressed about my work trip. I mean, I will not have any control over food and drinks and so on. I keep thinking that I want this to be over already... I want routine. It is weird. Sometimes I think that I want to do many things and go to many places, but at the same time I want my calm routine. I like when I get to go home after work and having not to do anything. I am all the time so fucking tired. Maybe it is because of it. I really look forward to "my time" when I get home and get to sit online or read a book or something. Even on Friday or Saturday evenings, I just want to go home instead of going out. I just don't have anough strength/or even want to do anything. Sometimes I am embarrassed to say this. I don't want to offend anyone. But... it is what it is. I can't help it. And then there is my mum. She is always like "go somewhere, do something". And then when she asks that "weren't you supposed to go there" and I say that yeah, I thought about it, but didn't want to, she replies with "ohhh no", "you should have" and so on. :D And it causes some axtra guilt. As if I didn't have enough of it. :D

I mean I get it that it is nice to go to places and do things, but I don't want to do it all the time. Especially right now. I have a lot I need to deal with, I need to fight this disorder and I just use all of my energy on it. And if I went somewhere or met up with someone, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the moment, because my mind has a lot of other stuff to deal with. And then I feel that I would rather be at home and fight my fights, instead of making others feel miserable. I don't know, it makes a lot of sence in my head. I understand that I can't do this for forever and I should meet people, but I DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH. I don't know how some people do something every single day. I mean, I can do it, if I force myself. But on some occasions I just want to be by myself. :D

I don't know where all this came from, but I just really wanted to get these thoughts out.

Yep. I told my eating disorder that okay, now when I am going to Viljandi until I will be back in Tallinn, you are paused and then we will see how we will continue. Then we will restrict again and will get back to where we were. 

I don't know about you, but when I go to visit my parents or we go somewhere, all eating, snacking and overeating is really easy to go down. I don't understand people who say they lose weight during a holiday. In group, people are keeping their eyes on my very carefully and I am being monitored, it is impossible to skip meals or have something different. Food is being prepared and you need to have it, even if you don't want to. There is no possibility to make your own choices. So the only way to deal with it is to pause your eating disorder.

Now that I am back in Tallinn, it is still paused - until my vacation is over. (It is over now, I am just late to translating this post, sorry about that.)

How has it been? It has not been paused 100%. I may have a chat with my disorder, but it is so difficult. Everything is still fucking difficult. My weight has gone up by a kilo during my vacation and it is fucking with my mind. And during the vacation as well, I had many tears-filled days and I had such overhwelming guilt... so I can't say it was fully paused. But I tried to make it be. What I also did was not talking about food. My mum even complimented me, saying that I didn't make a huge deal out of eating and I managed quite well. Doesn't matter that I cried when I was alone...

Anyway, yeah. 

First food related stop for us was at Muhu, where I wanted to go to this handmade ice cream shop. By company LaMuu.

My mum and sister had an ice cream in a waffle cone, but it is difficult to eat something like this with braces (I need to remove the elastics for it and I didn't have anywhere to put them), so I picked just three flavours in a cup. I tried black ice cream, which was flavoured as white chocolate, beer flavoured ice cream and fake Nutella (vegan) ice cream. I really liked them all and others agreed that the fake Nutella one was the best. :D

I got a lot of guilty feelings from it. Not at first, but later. After that we went to adventure park, Kaali crater and hotel and then my mum and sister started to say that they are hungry, even though we just were supposed to visit Sõrve lighthouse and then go and have dinner. And at home in the morning we ate a lot and then the ice cream was a lot too. Still, we went to the store and...

This was the most difficult thing during our trip. They had some sandwiches, which I have also liked to have, but everything was with meat. And they did not allow me to skip this meal. This was the moment where we had a little fight and I was really disappointed they didn't respect my decision. I couldn't even enjoy the pancakes, as I was too upset.

For dinner we went to Saaremaa Veski. I picked vegan thing from the menu, which was chickpea burgers with sweet potato fries. And I tried one craft beer. The food was amazing and my sister and mum also enjoyed what they had picked.

It was a huge portion and I was really full, but I tried to tell myself that it didn't matter and at the hospital we ate even more. I was extra good and had some bread and butter on the side as well.

After that we went to the hotel and had different snacks, rye bread crisps, pistachios, chips and dip and drank wine. During having these things it is not difficult, but it is so later, especially the next day when I get waves of guilt. I didn't express it in words, I just sent my sister some messages about feeling bad and awful and uncomfortable an guilty.

The next morning we had breakfast buffee, which again meant having so much food. And then we had some snack, but main meal we had at Hiiumaa, in Rannapaargu restaurant.

I would have really liked to have grilled salmon, but they had ran out of it. Vegan selection waas burger with sweet potato fries and chickpea patty, and I didn't want to have the same stuff again. So I picked some fish cutlets with fresh potatoes and mayo sauce and salad. I really liked it. I didn't have too many guilty feelings at that point, and I was quite hungry. My mum and sister were again happy with their selection as well. All in all I would say I liked Saaremaa Veski more, but this was not bad.

After that we looked around for a bit to see if there was a cafe or something nearby, but we didn't have time to go in the end.

Instead we had coffee and cake on the ferry...

Pickng the cake was really difficult and I think I would have liked something else, but as others had this, I felt that it is allowed for me as well. Even though I could have had anything, really... I don't know. Anyway, this cake was not the best thing I have ever had. It was too sweet and not sweet enough at the same time and it was in general kind of weird. If I had picked this cake when others had something different though, it would have been even more difficult. And in reality I have been thinking that I want to have chocolate cake... I don't knowwww. It would have been better if we had been in an actual cafe.

At home in Viljandi we grilled some sausages and I got vegan sausages. These are really good. My dad had one and he also said that he couldn't tell it wasn't meat.

Grilling it added an extra smiky flavour and it was amazing. Even though making it in the oven works well too. Anyway, it was nice to sit outside, drink some wine or beer and just chat. This is my favourite part of barbeque.

Now that I am eating mushrooms, mum made fresh potatoes with chatarelles. This was so good. I had two full plates...

But now I am back in Tallinn and my rhythm has gone back to normal for me. I missed it so much. To have some sort of plan for the days.

At the same time I really managed to break free from having 3 meals and 3-4 snacks. It went better than I expected. But still, it was difficult... and gaining weight after the vacation. Gah. Mentally it has been exhausting. And my "eating disorder is paused" doesn't really help any more, I guess the week free from it was an absolute stretch.

But I was good and on the first full day in Tallinn I still made some proper breakfast porridge. I brought a lot of gooseberries from home, and also some blackcurrants. I really enjoy my breakfasts and they are on next level thanks to fresh berries.

With cocoa and blackcurrants. And today morning I made the same with vanilla peanut butter. And my porridge servings are also bigger than they used to be. This is also progress.

I have a new deal with my friend as well. I said that I can't gain so much weight so fast, as our current plan had me do. I just find it mentally too hard. So now my goal is to gain a kilo in two weeks, when he still continues with losing 2 to 2,5 kilos in two weeks.

But all in all, I have been doing well. Now today it is Monday and I should start a new challenge, but I just can't come up with any. :D But I feel like I need to, because that is the essence of my blog. I will try and come up with something.

I have tried some new vegan products, but I am not going to talk about them in this post.

Anyway, I am glad that this stressful part of the vacation is over. But I am also feeling sad. I discovered that I didn't think about food all the time and some moments, for example having meals at the restaurant with others, were kind of easy. And also... gaining one kilo per week was not the worst thing that could have happened. Besides I had a goal, agreement, to do that... and on the sixth I went to see my doctor so now I could finally show them some results. I have always just sat in their office, repeating "next time, next time"...

Also I wanted to write about one more thing. I need a new job. And I would like to do something to express myself, but I have a feeling there is NO SUCH JOB. And I don't know what else I would like to do. I am so lost. Does anyone else ever feel lke this? How to get out of this funk? Argh.

But well. Now I have written down everything about these guilty feelings and foods. And now some days have passed and I am feeling better. At least for now. And I need to be in "now!. What is the point of stressing over the past or future? You cannot change the past and you don't know what is to come.

Pet peeves, quirks or however else you can call them are just so normal about your life, even if you do not think of them. This time I'm bringing you some of the waitressing quirks I have discovered over the years of part time job. It's of course only applicable to Estonia, because I don't really know the waitressing culture in another countries. I can imagine some neighbouring ones are similar, but still. Also it hugely depends on the cafe or restaurant as well. Anyway, here they are:


Different kind of people you'll meet at my workplace -

1. The Hungry Ones. More commonly:

• So, do you have anything to eat? (Remember, we are a restaurant.)
• Do you have a kitchen, do you have something to eat?
• Are you open? (Come on dude, you literally just CAME IN FROM THE DOOR NO, WE ARE CLOSED.)
• Can I eat anything?