Me and my sister went out for dinner and we picked a cafe, which was 100% vegan and what I have been wanting to visit for forever, as I have heard so many good things about it.

Atmosphere

Commune Cafe atmosphere and interior are amazing. It was really nice, a bit hipster, but not too much. Kind of minimalistic. I really liked that they have a lot of plants and a lot of room, tables are not too close together. I really liked they used a lot of wood and even dishes matched with the environment.

At the cafe it wasn't too cold or too warm, even though the door was open and we could hear some cars. It did not bother us, though, we barely noticed it and in general the place was really comfy. The location is good as well, and it was nice to see that even on Monday evening the place was quite full. At the same time there weren't too many people so we still managed to get a table. I really don't like to book a table in advance, because I am never sure if I make it in time. Maybe something comes up. I really like to just walk in and get a seat.

Service

Service... was not too good. I honestly felt like an annoying fly and seemed to ruin the waitress' mood. :D We still got our food quite fast and it looked absolutely delicious. Also the cakes they had on offer looked fantastic. I think that maybe the waitress just had a bad day. I have worked in a restaurant myself and I know how it can be. Anyway, I can't tell more about the service.

The owner of the cafe contacted me, though, and I told her about our visit. It was really sweet and I really appreciate it. :) And as I said, I am not holding it against them and I am sure I will visit the place again in the near future.

Food

Me and my sister both got Buddga bowl, which had roasted sesame seed covered smoked tofu, quinoa, peanut butter-lime sauce, edamame beans, avocado, broccoli, sugar snap beas, salad, and roasted cashews.

And it was really good! REALLY good. Everything fit together so well! At first I thought that there was too much sauce and I will probably leave some, but it was amazing and if anything, there was too little of it. And I hadn't had smoked tofu before and it was super delicious!

There were some more things in the menu that I would like to try. For example English breakfast that has beyond meat sausage and I have been wanting to try this for ages. Ramen also seemed so good. So at least two more visits. :D

In general going out to eat caused me a lot of stress, because on the weekend we already went to eat in Little India and I in general had had a lot of food. My last post here was really motivating and so on, but on the same evening the situation got really hard. I had a lot of food guilt and it was difficult to handle my thoughts. It is still difficult right now - I have so much guilt and my motivation is completely gone. I want to go back to where I was...

It calmed me a bit that my sister had the same food as I did. Of course it would have been good to try different  things, as we could have tasted each other's. But this was good as well. In addition to this, we had some vegan ice creams at home and when my sister suggested it, she told me that she could see how it made me upset. Because it was hard, very hard. But in general this was good time and I really like going out for food. We thought that we could visit a new place like this every month. To break me free from the routine and challenge me. But at the same time I want to go back to the same place, as there were many things I would still like to try... But there are a lot of other places I want to visit as well. She wanted to pick a place herself next time, though. :D I don't really have anything against it - giving away control even more.

Also, we thought that we can make something similar at home. I guess it wouldn't be as good, but it was a good insporation. We usually make these kind of bowl dishes with salsa or soy sauce and mayo (for some weird reason this is such a good combo!), but why not use peanutbutter? We really like it with savoury food, for example I have made a sauce of it for spring rolls and my sister still sometimes talks about it. :D

Haven't made any bowl dishes recently, but for some time it was our favourite meal. Just to mix things together in a bowl. Our most favourite one was susho bowl, where all the ingredients are just mixed together. Who has the patience to roll it, am I right? :D

Now I have been making a lot of zucchini dishes, and there will be a lot more soon, because we still have two small ones and one giant one left.

Firstly I made zucchini and tomato bake with onion, which came out amazing. In the recipe it also says you can top it with cheese, which I did. But I would say that it didn't make it much better, so the vegan version is good as well. (Just slice some tomatoes, onion and zucchini, put them in the baking dish, brush some oil on top and add pepper and salt and other flavourings. Bake for 25 minutes in 200 degrees.) With it, I made some fresh tomato-sour cream salad and yum, it was really good!

I added a lot of parsley as well, that is why it looks so green. :D But yeah, we really liked it! 

The next evening we had a really weird combo of food, as I made grilled cheese and oven baked zucchini. I marinated the zucchini in soy sauce, apple cider vinegar, olive oil, garlic and pepper mix for around an hour. Then I roasted it in 225 degrees for about 20-25 minutes. And ready it was. We really liked it once again! And I would say that the more garlic it has, the better. :D

And lastly I made this zucchini stew, and I was lazy and just added onion, garlic and tomato sauce with peppers and mushrooms. It was so good. I used my trusty multi cooker which I have not used in a while. And for the first time I set my own program, meaning I put it on 200 degrees and let it cook for 35 minutes.

Multi cooker is a nice thing. :D On the side I had some more salad, because we have a lot of tomatoes we need to use up. :D

Anyway, there are many more things I want to try. For example oven omelette with zucchini, zucchini curry, and of course pasta and so on. Well, I'll get around to it. It seems that the zucchinis stay fresh for quite some time, so there is time. And also I want to make zucchini burgers someone mentioned in my blog comments... :)

If I only could get over my weird guilt. I just don't understand, it is so overwhelming. For example yesterday I had a lot of guilt over gooseberries. Like, for real. I hope that this is not a start of a relapse, because I am fighting so hard. But the fact I felt better for some time made me feel so nice so now it is extra difficult. I thought that the high was going to last a bit longer.

I am a little stressed about my work trip. I mean, I will not have any control over food and drinks and so on. I keep thinking that I want this to be over already... I want routine. It is weird. Sometimes I think that I want to do many things and go to many places, but at the same time I want my calm routine. I like when I get to go home after work and having not to do anything. I am all the time so fucking tired. Maybe it is because of it. I really look forward to "my time" when I get home and get to sit online or read a book or something. Even on Friday or Saturday evenings, I just want to go home instead of going out. I just don't have anough strength/or even want to do anything. Sometimes I am embarrassed to say this. I don't want to offend anyone. But... it is what it is. I can't help it. And then there is my mum. She is always like "go somewhere, do something". And then when she asks that "weren't you supposed to go there" and I say that yeah, I thought about it, but didn't want to, she replies with "ohhh no", "you should have" and so on. :D And it causes some axtra guilt. As if I didn't have enough of it. :D

I mean I get it that it is nice to go to places and do things, but I don't want to do it all the time. Especially right now. I have a lot I need to deal with, I need to fight this disorder and I just use all of my energy on it. And if I went somewhere or met up with someone, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the moment, because my mind has a lot of other stuff to deal with. And then I feel that I would rather be at home and fight my fights, instead of making others feel miserable. I don't know, it makes a lot of sence in my head. I understand that I can't do this for forever and I should meet people, but I DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH. I don't know how some people do something every single day. I mean, I can do it, if I force myself. But on some occasions I just want to be by myself. :D

I don't know where all this came from, but I just really wanted to get these thoughts out.