I didn't really even think about doing this challenge, because I am more of a sweets person. But then I was wondering what I could do for one day and decided to try this challenge after all. Besides, if I am completely honest, I grew tired of my morning porridge for a change. :D I think starting from the next day I will be back at it, but I still gave it a shot. Besides, I love a good challenge.

Breakfast

I thought about it for a long time. I Googled so many recipes, but finally I was like... I can just make something simple. So I made some scrambled eggs with mushrooms and cheese. And I got SUPER full. I made the scramble with four eggs, because I didn't really have anything on the side and I wanted to be well fed. It was good. :D Also interesting that when I have my sweet porridge in the mornings, I am always like, okay, this is done, when is it lunch again. :D But at the moment I am just really full.

Had some pickles on the side. Because sometimes I get these cravings for pickles or sauerkraut or something like this and I had this in the fridge luckily this time.

Of course I had it with a lot of ketchup and mayo, because withput these things it is not possible to have eggs. :D Unless you use eggs to top your sandwiches, but even then I often add mayo.

Anyway, it was super strange. During eating I thought that I wish I had made porridge, but at the same time it was still nice as well. My vacation also just started and I slept in a little, it was nice to make something more interesting for breakfast. I thought about many things, like savoury pastries and bagels and everything, but I didn't want to spend THAT much time on making breakfast.

We shall see how long I stay full, but I have a feeling it will be quite a bit. :D

And then at one point I started getting ideas about missing lunch, because I was still full and I had a lot of snacks planned and my weight was higher this morning, but at the same time I wondered why. What was the point? I need to eat anyway and I need to gain some more weight and get my period back.

It was surprising that when I stepped on the scale and saw a bigger number, I thought that who even cares. It is just a number. So sometimes there are days like this and I feel like these are coming to me more and more and it is amazing.

Now I should do something useful, for example go for a walk, but at the moment I feel kind of... tired. I am full and I am wondering that maybe I will instead have another coffee and postpone going for a walk... but I would like to get some steps in, because later I am going to get my vaccine and I want to have my lunch at peace. And I can't be without walking at the same time.

Today would be a good day to start some step challenge, as I am writing this post on the first of June. But at the same time I can't be bothered. I don't want this walking to become an obsession again, I have been trying to get rid of this habit. Like, I guess I still walk more than a normal person, but at least I don't feel like I NEED to hit a step goal every frigging day. I am doing another challenge at the minute as well though that has something to do with steps, haha. :D But we shall see when I finish it, as it doesn't really have an end date.

It is weird to be at home while others are working. I just checked the time and thought that it is in the middle of our meeting and I am sitting at home, having coffee and just chilling. Me and my best friend usually send each other outfit pictures and when she sent me one this morning, I was like... why is she going to work on Saturday, hahaha. :D

On Wednesday she is coming to my place, we are ordering some food and something. Yesterday it was really tough day mentally, even though it went well at work etc. I managed to write a lot of analytical text and my boss was really pleased, it was nice.

I should actually do some more studying, because time is flying by and soon I need to apply to the uni... should look up when it is exactly.

Talking more about food, I think today will be perfect day of eating. Enough protein, fats and carbs. I haven't counted the calories, but it seems to be a day where I have enough of all macros, though the snack ruins it a little. :D

I have been thinking about posting more about what I eat in a day? Would it be helpful or would it make you compare yourself to me and make you feel guilty? I have both emotions when I see posts like this - sometimes it is good to see what others are having and you get some good ideas, but if someone eats very little, I immediately think that oh no, I am having too much of something. I will think about it more. Or I don't know, I should make similar challenge as today's again. But now I don't know what is next, spicy foods? :D Why not... though I am afraid my taste buds would be like Signe what the fuck are you doing, haha. :D

I finally managed to translate some posts to my English blog, even though I am still very much behind. But I have more readers in my Estonian blog. Though there are some people who read this as well and they say I write well, though I have my doubts... I don't really have any plans for my post, I just write down whatever I am thinking about. So this is why my style is really jumpy, from one topic to other. :D

There is another challenge I would like to do - 24 hours without social media. It sometimes makes me really stressed and anxious. Especially when I open my FB messenger and there are several new messages from several people. I don't want to be rude and not answer, but sometimes it is just too much and I don't want to deal with it. I just don't want to communicate. I feel like recently there have been so many social events and I am tired, I need some SPACE. Both in my life and in my head. So maybe today I will ignore people more. But well, maybe I should have warned them in advance, haha. :D But as my psychologist said, it is fine not to answer or read the message right away.

It really bothers me when I am listening to the music and walking and someone writes to me - I get annoyed at the notification. And then I feel like I need to answer etc. Annoying.

But okay, I managed to write down everything about breakfast, let's wait for lunch now. Even though I am still really full.

Lunch

For lunch I made tomato-basil soup and on the side I had rye bread with herbed butter. Of course my first thought was to skip the bread, but then I was like - soup alone is so sad. So I had it as well. I had a piece of seeded rye bread left, I toasted it and it was really good.

Actually by the time I had food, I wasn't even hungry yet, like, at all. But I still thought that it is the right time to eat.

I had an energy drink as well. My friend got me addicted and now a day doesn't pass when I don't have it. This sucks, especially because my Coke and Pepsi addiction is also very real still. But I only had one coffee on this day, so it was fine considering.

I would have liked posting this all to Instagram during the day, but I held myself back, because I didn't want to give clue what challenge I am doing. :D But yeah, when I added up all the calories I ate, it was a lot over what I spent.

Dinner

For dinner I made mayo salad with salmon and ginger. I really love pickled ginger, I could literally have it with any food. Pizza with ginger? Why not. Even to my breakfast porridge I usually add grounded ginger, because I just love it so much.

I remember that once a long time ago my aunt gave me ginger in sugar coating and I thought it was the most disgusting thing ever - oh how times have changed. :D

Anyway dinner was very good and each time I make this salad I feel like a rich person. :D Salmon is not cheap at all. I also had a lot of salad, I usually buy a bag with 120-150 grams of leaves, add a whole container of cherry tomatoes, whole bell pepper and whole cucumber. Then I mix it all with mayo, add some seasonings and top it with salmon and ginger. This is probably one of my favourite meals and it is super fast and easy to make. And I think it is delicious. I love all kinds of salads in general.

As a snack, or, well, dessert, I had a bag of Estrella cheese flavoured crisps. The proper ones. I am always reminded by my childhood when I have them, we ALWAYS ate them with the family while watching a movie or when I played school with my sister. But this time the whole bag was mine and you bet I finished everything. :D I can't open a thing and then not have it all. I thought about making a combination of different crisps, like a plate of three or something, but it was just a thought.

I also had a whole big bottle of Fanta Zero, because I really wanted it and it was on sale. So I had a very yellow snack. :D

At first, when I told my sister about this challenge idea, she recommended me to have savoury drinks as well - savoury mineral water etc. She even looked up savoury cocktails like Bloody Mary, which I, in fact, have never tried. :D I would kind of like to try it, even though I hate tomato juice. But I would like to try everything once. :D

I had a lot of guilty emotions, because I didn't have an appetite, I was just so full. And then on the next day when I stepped on the scale, I had gained a whole kilo. Only now when I am writing this I am thinking that it was probably because of salt - it makes you retain water.

In general this was quite a fard challenge for me, because I really wanted watermelon or grapes, but if I do a challenge, I won't back off. So I finished the challenge without cheating.

Now today is Wednesday and my best friend is coming over. I am really stressed over food. I have been eating well - two meals and some snacks, but I KNOW tonight is going to be bad. At first I had a plan of making falafels in the air fryer, and fries, but I wanted another challenge and we decided to have a pizza from a place called VIBEZ that is super close to my flat. And we will have a few drinks too.

I don't know yet what I am going to take, there are so many things I want. But at the same time I am not even hungry, so I don't want anything at all. I had lunch a bit too late, but I wanted to walk around a little to calm myself down from the higher weight I saw this morning.

Also yesterday I got my first vaccination, Pfizer. I booked the first time I could and I had to go to the other side of Tallinn for it. But it was nice. :D Doctors and nurses and everyone were super sweet and adorable.

So, here are our pizzas. I got herbivore pizza and my best friend had ch-ch-cheese pizza. Both were really good, and we were lucky, as we liked out own ones the best.

It is weird to be on a vacation and blog, I keep forgetting I need to post. But now it is done. :D

Tomorrow my parents and grandma are coming to Tallinn to have a housewarming party with us. I am going to make food and all this. I am a bit stressed over it. Lately I have very hard time mentally. And today is the first day when I don't have any plans. But it is so freeing. I don't have to do anything or meet anyone or go anywhere. I would like to have more days like this during my vacation, but oh well, tomorrow is already "ruined". I am gain at the spot that my psychologist calls worrying ahead, but what can I do. I really about 80% of the time worry about the future. And then 15% I think about the past and then there is only 5% left for the present...