This was the most common thing we were told at the hospital. In connection with when some people wanted to keep talking to others after being discharged. And I completely understand. Especially as eating disorders are a sickness that focuses around comparing a lot and I have talked about this earlier. It makes a lot of sense. If someone who you spent time at the clinic is realpsing and losing weight again, it is possible that you don't want to be "left behind" and you want to be the sickes, the thinnest and so on. But is it always like this? Is it always negative?

I think that talking to other sufferers is also motivating. Especially if you can share good moments. And moments of relapse - you just have to think logically. You need to explain yourself that you are different people with different lives. You are on different paths and need to do different things for yourselves.

When I was at the hospital in Tallinn, there was a girl who also suffered from an eating disroder. We became really good friends and I can say I love her. And what is the best, most precious thing - she understands me. When we plan to meet up, she never suggests going out for a meal. She knows it is difficult for me. She asks if I am up to have some coffee. Or just meet up. She knows how to not put pressure on me. She knows what to say and how it is okay. I don't want my friends to tiptoe around me, never. And I am not expecting them to. But sometimes you need to talk to someone who just understands. And my friend does. And as we have both gone through or going through the same thing, we have the right to joke about it. :D There is a lot of dark humor.

What is also important about talking to other sick people, is that... it is always easy to give advice. You can always say do this or do that and eat more and do more of this and challenge yourself more. BUT you need to think if you would do it yourself. Or is this something you would only tell others to do? If you wouldn't do it yourself, you shouldn't give advice. At least this is what I think. If you look at someone's plate with a meal and think that instead of salad or veggies there should be 1-2 potatoes more, just stop and think - would you add 1-2 potatoes or would you have the same kind of meal? If you wouldn't do it yoursel, you shouldn't tell the other person to do it. Or you can both do it! This is somehow motivating yourself as well and helps you to push forward.

But yeah, I think that sharing good moments with other is nothing to worry about. And even if the other person is all that "you can do it", which may be annoying sometimes, it kins of... annoys me less, than when a completely healthy person tells me that? :D I mean, the other sick person just understands you better. Maybe my explanations make no sense to you, but in my head they are logical.

At the same time I do understand that there is the danger of being to comparative and bringing the other person down to relapse. If someone tells you all the time that "I work out this much" or "I haven't had any food today yet or I just had this and that", then you are just like... okay. If she does that all the time, I should do the same. And then you start acting the same and share the same things with them and it becomes a challenge.

Here I want to highlight LOGICAL THINKING. I know it is easy to let yourself go on the path of relapse, but you can't avoid other sick people all your life.

It is like... people tell you not to read the calories on the packaging of food items. Yeah, it is a good advice at one point during your journey, but you can't avoid it all your life. For example if you are allergic to something or you have intolerances, you sometimes need to check the lavels. And you usually notice macronutrient breakdowns and calories. It is difficult to just ignore them. And besides, ignoring it makes you scared of the calories, which does not help you forward.

Anyway yeah, altogether I want to say that you should be friends with whoever you want. Of course you should pick people who you really have a connection and who you know won't make you relapse. Or if you discover that you may be about to relapse, you need to have a plan of action to get out of there. It can be talking to someone (friends, family, relatives, clinic stuff or doctors) or just... I don't know, writing things down. I usually am comforted by the action of just writing this blog. It helps me to see the bigger picture.

I haven't asked anything in a while and no one has made any comments, but... what do you think about all this? Do you think that you shouldn't talk to other sick people, or do you think it can be helpful? Despite thinking that talking to others is not bad, I sometimes still doubt my thoughts.


Today I am also starting the next challenge (besides, weekend was really difficult for me... again) with the letters M, N and O. It is surprising how fast this alphabet challenge has been going. And what I have discovered is that... I can have all the ice creams! Calories in them don't bother me at all. Even if there are more calories than my usual snack, I don't care and can eat them easily! I am sure that after this challenge is over, I will go over the alphabet and see how I have progressed. And what I need to try more or again.

I also came up with something for the letter Q - quinoa. I just made some quinoa filled zucchini and I was really surprised I never thought of it. :D So, definitely will try this again. (Also, my zucchini boats were amazing. I filled them with quinoa, garlic and mushrooms, had some cottage cheese salad on the side and also a big blob of hummus. I don't know, why, but having just quinoa on the side seems scary, while having it IN the zucchini, it was alright. Another weird food fear... :D)