It seems like today was my last round of ECT. One girl had it done 7 times, but for me they have always said 6 is the optimal. So hopefully it was last time.

How am I feeling.... I don't really know. It may still be too early to give a conclusion, because ECT really messes with your mind/brain and I can make more sense tomorrow.

At the moment I do remember everything, except that I asked 3 or 4 times within ten minutes "what day is it today". Also I don't remember falling asleep before the procedure. And probably something else that I cannot point out right now. However, I am not feeling as panicky as last time.

They took my canula away finally so I could take a shower properly. Having canula on the inside of your elbow really sucks and it hurt to move my hand. However, all is well that ends well.

There is a possibility that I can go home on Friday. Well, home or I will be sent to Tartu (eating disorder treatment center is there), which I hope will not happen.

I know I will manage at home. I believe in it. Even though I feel awfully guilty for somethinf I shouldn't (eating). Especially because last night I binged and ate half a chocolate, small bag of crisps and coconut cookies. It was a proper binge, problem of many people suffering with ED. I am just very angry at myself.

I think overall I have explained pretty well what the ECT exactly is. 

Memory? More or less okay, except for this one movie we saw at the cinema, one pizza I had and some articles I wrote for Nordik Simit.

Head? Headache was the most common symptom. Also feeling really drowsy after the procedure and having to do everything very calmly and slowly.

Pain? Not painful at all. The most painful is probably when you are injected with whatever it is that makes you fall asleep.

Experience? Well, if by next monday I don't get Spiderman-like superpowers, it can be said it is not dangerous.

If you have questions then I will gladly answer. I will surely write one more post when there is more time between my last treatment to see, if it actually helped and made my life more living-worthy.

Thanks for reading!