When I got out on Friday, I went to my parents' place and took a bus back to home on Saturday. I think I will post separately about foods and how my normal days are going to look like. I just wanted to write initial emotions down. 1. It is weird. All the things are different. For example I couldn't even hold on...
We made earrings and key chains in art therapy. Monday And the final week begins. I get to leave on Friday after the snack at 3 pm... can't wait. And currently it is 1 pm on Monday. My roommate here went to Tallinn Black Food Festival and brought me my favourite vegan restaurant's brownie. It was really good, even though I was scared...
I think this is the easiest way to describe how I am feeling, and maybe it is a bit funny too: I think I am the biggest crier at the hospital. When someone asks why I am taking medication. It is quite impossible to function without. Me when I blog. Most days when things are not going as I want them to. Exactly....
Globus Estonia sent me their products as a gift. Can't wait to go home and cook something with it. Thursday It has been hard. Morning snack was bigger than I would have needed and during the lunch snack I had to have extra candy, that threw me off. From meal times, the dinner was too big - oily pasta and all this additional...
Tuesday I don't know why, but since the doctor said I get to go home for a month, I have been feeling really anxious. Of course I want to go home, yet it is scary. Not that I couldn't handle it - I believe that I can - but because I don't want to come back later. I will also be going to...
Misfortune cookie message to me. Thursday Because of the morning's weigh in, I needed to be in a wheelchair when going out again. I hope I get to talk about this with my doctor and next time I can walk. I cannot wait for this moment. Wheelchair joys. Today I have had so many extra things in my menu from the morning. For...
Sunday Breakfast 8:30 - millet porridge, coffee, bread and toast with butter, eggs and tomatoes, 200g cottage cheese, Skyr blueberry yoghurt. (I don't understand why they add so much stuff. What is this based on? Even the menu, which has more calories, for example the protein rich diet, doesn't have any extra stuff. Others just had bread and toast with butter and sausage,...
I am very upset I was made to try halva (arabic sweet thing, made with sesame seeds or peanuts). I have never really liked it, so I am not too positive about it. I don't know if the raiting is bad because I couldn't pick what I wanted, but yeah. I'd give this 5/10. I really wanted to try the new Halloween chocolate....
Monday The only thing that I want is to be home. I know I could handle weight gain better there, I would be in my own environment and I could pick my meals, think of my own snacks and eat at more normal times. I could move around, meet people, communitcate with others, go somewhere if I need to or want to. I...
Thursday The only thought in my head is that I don't want to be here any longer. Everything is so awful, I feel sick mentally AND physically, I feel disgusting. If I could just go home, I could follow this same plan. I could go to the hospital for weekly weigh ins or something. I just want to get out of here. I...
I feel that I need to write about this, as I cannot handle it otherwise. The title of this post tells you what it will be about, so feel free to just ignore the post if necessary. Saturday Breakfast 8:30 - buckwheat porridge, coffee, bread with butther and cheese, toast with butter and cucumber, vanilla curd cream. (There has never been curd cream...
MOVIES Bird Box (trailer) was the first movie that I watched at the hospital. It was... a thriller? or maybe even a horror movie. I am not a fan of horror movies, but this was not disgusting, but just exciting. Five years after an ominous unseen presence drives most of society to suicide, a mother and her two children make a desperate bid...
Monday Even though I had only gained 200 grams, Monday was still hard. In my menu, there were many additional things, which weren't the case before. Now after every meal I feel too full and have the thought that it was too much. Time has started to pass slower. Saturday went by fast, but now for the two days, time has been super...
It will be four weeks or one month on Monday. This is a long time, though it has went past extremely fast. That could I say? That things are not going to get easier. Meal times are just as difficult. Life won't become easier. My tears are not drying, my guilt is not passing, my anger won't subside. It is difficult. So fucking...
Weekends are the worst and go by so slowly. At the same time I am afraid of Monday, due to weigh in.... Monday Breakfast 8:30 - rice porridge, bread with butter and edd, toast with cheese and cucumber, coffee. (My stomach was more full than usually, I feel really heavy. I was afraid we would have buckwheat porridge again, but luckily not. So...
We have to eat a lot of sweet things at the hospital. Most of the snacks are sweet and there are always desserts with main meals. For example the first snack has to bee chocolate or something similar. As I have not allowed myself to have sweets for god knows how long, I decided to write a little review about all the stuff...
