I feel that I need to write about this, as I cannot handle it otherwise. The title of this post tells you what it will be about, so feel free to just ignore the post if necessary.

Saturday

Breakfast 8:30 - buckwheat porridge, coffee, bread with butther and cheese, toast with butter and cucumber, vanilla curd cream. (There has never been curd cream with the breakfast and of course others didn't have it. Everything feels so wrong and unfair. The fact that they have a few slices of sausage doesn't mean I need to have the whole curd cream dessert. I was so angry, I felt like crying and nothing helped. I just cannot handle being here any longer.)

Snack 11:00 - Kinder Country chocolate. (I am obsessed with this chocolate, it is so good. At the same time I still felt really awful from the breakfast, that I couldn't enjoy it at all.)

Lunch 13:00 - rice with vegetables and mushrooms, carrot salad, slice of toast, kefir, banana. (Again others had just a soup which I would have also liked. Yet today my meal tasted well, they had used more seasoning than usually, so it was nice. My stomach was a bit too full after the lunch and before it my hands shook so badly that they had to give me some calming medication. I feel sick and I cannot get rid of my bad thoughts that have been bothering me since the breakfast.)

Snack 15:00 - cherry Skyr yoghurt, handful of tried nuts and fruits. (Somewhy I don't like mosre of the Skyr yoghurts, but the cherry one was good. I still felt really negative and awful while eating it. I am tired of fighting with my head, but I just cannot feel better.)

Dinner 17:00 - pasta with vegetables, cucumber and tomato salad, kefir, bread and toast with butter. (Of course I was again too full after it. It was swilling in oil. For real, when I finished, there was a spoonful of oil left on the bottom of the bowl. Others had some meat with rice and one slice of bread. You can see how unfair it is, don't you? Even others having little meat does not make it okay for me to have as much more as I am being forced to.)

Snack 19:30 - klementine and gingerbread kohuke (Estonian curd cream dessert with chocolate glaze), hot chocolate. (I couldn't wait for this day to be over. Kohuke was not as good as I had hoped. Today sucked.)