I am not on vegetarian (or pescetarian) diet. And this is my view from my window.

Breakfast at 8:30: rice porridge, glass of milk, coffee, bread with butter, cheese and cucumber, white bread with an egg. Too much food. I am not used to this, my heart is beating super fast. It is so tough. And I keep looking at others and thinking I will blow up like a balloon. Today they weighed me and this was lower than ever before. I am 170 cm and my weight was 36,2 kg, which makes my body mass index into 12,53. Normal is around 20, and under 15 it is considered life threatening. I cannot believe that I have made it here and that the things are so bad. Last time I weighed myself at home, I was around 39 kg.

During this week they will do MRT for my brain and check my bone density, today they took blood tests in addition to weighing me.

My friend gave me a good idea to write about my daily schedule.

At 8:30 is wake up time and breakfast and then there is meeting where everyone have to tell 3 positive things about yesterday, then you have to tell how you slept, how did you feel during the meal and how are you feeling in general. Then after breakfast there is resting regimen, meaning you have to lay in bed for about an hour, toilets are also locked. There is a moment when everyone's blood pressure is taken, too.

They do blood tests two times a week and also weigh you two times per week. They will let you know your weight, unless you ask them not do. I want to know, because this will hopefully prove that I am not going to gain 10 kg randomly in a few days. :D

At 11 there is snack time which can be something you have bought yourself, but there are some options given by the hospital as well. Today for example at 11:00 I had a whole bar of Tupla chocolate.

Then there is some more free time, but on some days there is group therapy, for example today at 14:15.

Lunch at 13:00: borch soup (beetroot soup), huge slice of bread, huge slice of white bread; dried fruit compot with raisins and whipped cream.

The most annoying thing is that all the portions are huge and I feel physically uncomfortable full. At the same time I have to say that the meeting and discussing our feelings really helps to get over this irrational feeling of fear I have. For example the nurses remind you that this food is normal, other people at the hospital eat the exact same thing, it just FEELS too much for me.

Anyway, at group therapy we did some drawing exercise today; the topic was you yourself and things you are thankful for. I discovered it was really difficult, as I just felt really numb.

Snack at 15:00: cinnamon roll and tea.

The cinnamon roll was disappointing and automatically I got the idea that I have "wasted" my calories. I could have had something better, if I have to eat anyway. Argh, I am really annoyed by my own brain.

After snack time there is again resting regimen. People who are allowed to can participate in physiotherapy. I am not alowed to move, so I was just sitting around until dinner.

I have been watching Stranger Things on Netflix and done sudokus at the same time. That is something. At the same time I cannot focus on one thing for too long and I am awfully bored. (I am bored right now so I am translating this post from my Estonian blog.)

Dinner at 17:00: vegetable stew with rice, big slice of bread with butter and cheese, big slice of whire bread with butter and cheese, a glass of milk.

Again I felt so disgustingly full, which is a little better now. It still bothers me though.

Snack at 19:30: vanilla pudding with handful of nuts.

I feel like I am posting too often but oh well. Still up for writing about stuff you would like to hear. Or let me know if this is too much or too boring. Thanks.